It's safer in the dark - Sequel

Part 21

LOUIS POV

my phone has been ringing nonstop for the past 24 hours. Harry's number calling and calling and calling. I can't take it, I'm about to throw my phone across the room. I refuse to speak to him, how the fuck could he do this to me. He is an asshole, and I don't want to see him ever again. I think the words but deep down I know that's not true, I'm so jealous and upset.

I haven't let what's happened with Harry effect my eating habits, I refuse to let Harry control me and my emotions, I'm better than that. I've gotten through him leaving before and I can do it again. I'm going to get healthy for me and Harry will not bring me down. I've cried and cried and I'm sick of crying, I'm done. I need to move on from Harry and I will.

It's two days later when I walk into Scott's office where he is doing some work from home.

"Scott, I want to go back to work, I'm ready I need to do this" I say to him.

I look him in the eyes as I try to portray how serious I actually am about it. He looks at me and opens his mouth to say something, then he closes it again.

"I want to accept the contract with 'London Now' " I tell him.

"Alright Lou, I'm trusting you to be making the best decision for you okay. I just need to ask you, are you 100% sure?" He asks.

"Yeah Scott, this is what I want, I want to get back to work, something I know I'm good at and that I enjoy. I know I can do this" I say smiling slightly.

"Okay Louis, I trust you and if this works out, well, then you are definitely well on your way to getting your life and finances back. I'm really proud of you Lou" Scott says.

I haven't told the boys what Harry did or who he was with. It's not my place to make them angry at Harry.

"Thanks Scott" I say smiling.

"I'll call them and let them know you have accepted; the campaign starts in a month, so we will work out your schedule when I know what's going on" Scott reply's smiling at me.

I smile back at Scott and walk out of the office to go downstairs to the pool area and sit on the lounge chair in the sun. I still haven't spoken to Dan about anything, I don't really want to do it via text message, but I really have no choice. I take out my phone and try to think of something to say.

"I'm sorry I haven't replied to you, I'm not sure what to say" I type out.

I wait for a response but 10 minutes later and I still don't have one from Dan, but I get a message from Harry.

"Louis, it's not what it looked like. Please let me explain, do you honestly think I would throw you away like that?" It says.

I sigh, I don't know whether to respond or not. I still feel guilty about Dan though and I still think Harry deserves to know about it.

"No offence Harry but you've thrown me away before, why wouldn't you do it again?" I send back.

"Can we just talk Louis please, let me explain everything" he reply's seconds later.

"I turned up at your apartment to talk to you because I kissed Daniel and I felt so, so guilty about it and I couldn't stop thinking about how much you mean to me and how much I let you down. I thought you deserved to know. I was so confused, I still am confused but, we don't belong together Harry or this wouldn't be so complicated and hard" I write back.

I put my phone down and wait for a reply. It never comes. I sit beside the pool in the sun for a few hours just thinking about my life. I'm not mad at Harry, I have no right to be, I acted out because I was jealous, and I really only have myself to blame for that. Harry has been telling me for weeks that he wants me back and wants to make it work and I can't really blame him for moving on when I have rejected his advances twice. I thought that I was doing the right thing, that I was allowing myself to heal before committing to a relationship but I'm definitely second thinking that now. I shouldn't have put Harry in that position, that he felt like he needed to choose, and I wasn't even a guarantee. Regardless of the fact I hate David and I don't understand why Harry would go there; he must have had his reasons. They have history together and that must have been hard after two years to completely detach himself from. I'm sure Harry is just as confused; I should hear him out.... If he ever wants to speak to me after what happened between Daniel and me.