Purple Hope

Think Happy Thoughts

It had been a few days since Natasha and Clint left for the farm and Steve was relaxed. There had been significantly less pranks in the tower. Wanda was glad that Nat had decided to go with Clint, it would be good for her. Bucky and Peter had a few more ballet lessons together, which made Peter super happy. They discovered that Bucky was almost as good as Peter, just out of practice and couldn't do all the flips that had nothing to do with ballet, but they kept practicing anyway. Bucky hadn't been able to remember anything else during the lessons, and even though he wouldn't openly express it, he was enjoying them.

"Mr. Rogers," Friday said, waking him up, "It appears that Mr. Barnes is having a nightmare."

"What?" Steve shot out of bed, running out of his room and heading towards the door at the end of the hall.

Friday would only wake Steve up if his nightmares were really bad. Steve wanted her to alert him any time he had one, but Bucky changed it, not wanting to bother him every night. Steve knew he changed it but respected his privacy.

It had been a while since he had a bad one.

When Steve entered Bucky's room he saw him thrashing around on his bed. The pillows and blanket were on the floor and his sheet was wrapped tightly around him.

"Bucky," he called gently, not getting too close to him. He had once before and, out of instinct, Bucky had pinned him to the ground, choking him. Usually, at the familiar voice he would calm a bit, but this time he just started thrashing harder. There wasn't much Steve could do, other than just wait and be there for him once Bucky woke up.

"No," he shouted with rage before violently sitting up. He was panting. Taking deep, uneven breaths. Slowly, he brought his hands up and put his head in them as he started trembling. His breathing quickened, and after a moment sobs shook his body.

Steve stepped over to the bed, sitting on the edge and lightly placing his hand on his back. Bucky flinched at the contact, but once he noticed who it was, he accepted it and cried harder.

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"When you wake up this time, you will be completely ours." a man standing in front of him said.

He was strapped to a chair, arms and legs in restraints. He knew once he leaned his head back, a clamp would come around it, ready to erase his memories.

"We have erased most of who you are, but this time, you won't remember your little girly friend."

"No!" he screamed, pulling against the restraints with all his strength.

"Ah, ah, ah," the man said shaking his head. "Fighting it will only make it hurts worse."

He glared at the man with so much venom it would have burned straight through vibrainium. He kept pulling against the restraints, rubbing the skin on his good arm raw.

"You know that won't work," the man said after a while. He enjoyed watching the soldier in front of him suffer.

He looked at the man, eyes finally showing the acceptance that he won't break free. They had discovered what the two of them were. Nothing he said would help. But he had to try something.

"Please," he begged. "I'll do what you say. Whatever it is. Just please, don't take her from me. Don't take the memories."

The man was enjoying this. He wanted to watch him beg. But a boy with feelings could never be a proper soldier.

Bucky let out strangled screams as he was forced back, and the cold metal pieces closed around his head.

As the painful mindwiping process started, his screams continued, but they were the same. To him, just the thought of forgetting her was as painful as electricity coursing through him.
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