𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃; jean k.

chapter 4.

"it's aptitude test time, so listen up!" shadis yells, "there is no place for you here if you cannot preform! fail and be shipped to the fields".

in front of us are large wooden stands with wires hanging down from them. the task is to successfully attach yourself to the wires and balance: mimicking the skills you need to use odm gear.

i manage to keep myself strong and steady, and i look around and see mikasa completely still while in the air. her now chin length hair sways slowly in the wind as she balances.

to my left is sasha, who is swinging back and forth, and on my right is jean who is also managing to keep himself steady. connie is next to sasha and is flailing around a lot, but he's still in the air. on the other hand, eren is hanging upside down, struggling to keep himself upright.

"next!" one of the higher ups says, and everyone except eren unhooks themselves for the next person's turn.

"what's going on with eren?" i ask mikasa.

"i'm not sure. he's having a lot of trouble with this" she replies as we walk over to him. shadis is crouched down next to him.

"straighten yourself up!" the commandant yells as a few of the cadets surrounding him giggle silently. eren has his eyes wide open in disbelief.

there's no way eren can't do this.

after an entire day of trying, eren still struggled to keep himself upright and even managed to hit his head on the ground pretty hard. when mikasa, sasha, and i walk into the mess hall for dinner, he has a bandage wrapped around his temples. while the rest of us eat, eren stares at the wooden wall across from us.

"eren" mikasa says as she puts her hand on his shoulder. he jumps in surprise.

"worrying won't solve a thing" armin adds.

"yeah, there's still time to practice in the morning" i suggest.

"how pathetic. how am i supposed to kill 'em if i can't even stand up straight?" eren says.

"it might be time to let that dream die" mikasa bluntly states.

"what do you mean?" eren asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"i think you should give up this attempt to be a soldier. there's a lot more to fighting and combat than throwing your life away in vain" mikasa replies calmly.

but isn't that what we all came here to do anyway?

"what are you saying?" eren asks, "after everything we saw that day, after what happened to my mom, you're crazy if you think i'm just going to walk away".

"i get it. but it doesn't matter how determined you are" she responds as she continues to look down at her plate.

"it... wait, what do you mean?" eren asks in an offended tone.

"because whether or not you're fit to be a soldier isn't up to you" mikasa states. eren is taken aback by this and doesn't respond, when suddenly the dinner bell rings to signal that the meal is over. everyone begins to clean up, "you misunderstand..." she starts.

"let's go" eren says without letting her finish, but she continues to talk even while him and armin walk away. i stay seated with her and begin to clean up our plates when suddenly sasha appears next to her.

"so... uh... are you saying that you're not going to finish that?" the brunette girl asks while pointing to the small loaf of bread on mikasa's plate. mikasa then picks it up and puts it in her own mouth, leaving sasha with a disappointed expression.

"here, have mine" i say before taking my bread off my plate and handing it to the girl.

"thank you" she quickly says before shoving it in her mouth and running out of the mess hall so she doesn't get caught.