Deicide

February 2 23XX

!!!TW!!! mentions of sexual abuse/rape, implied suicide attempt

Eden sat up, flushed, confused and drooling. "What happened?" He looked at Howlan and Silas, who were both in the room still.

"Uh, we went to get Howlan blankets, and I was a little too rough with you, so we went to the bathroom to patch you up and you passed out." Silas didn't mean for it to sound the way it did, but his wording paired with how he kept averting Eden's gaze made it awfully suspicious.

"Oh, right." Eden looked down, then back up. "Excuse me, what?"

"Hm?" Silas was incredibly nervous.

"You were too rough with me? What were we-" Eden shut his mouth as he began to remember their little adventure. The stairs, the counter, the Innkeep, the bathroom- "The bathroom." Eden looked up at Silas.

"The bathroom?" Howlan looked between them. "What happened in the bathroom?"

"Nothing." Silas shrugged.

"Yeah, no, nothing." Eden nodded. "So, what's on the agenda today? Are we taking off?"

"Sure, we could start heading home." Howlan looked up at Silas. "Do you want to go get some clothes, or go anywhere, say bye to anyone first?"

"No, I don't have much left here and I don't think I need much."

"What about clothes?" Howlan began to pack his one bag.

"I can wear Eden's." Silas looked at Eden, who gave a nod of confirmation.

"And underwear?" Howlan looked up.

"I'll wear Eden's." Silas shrugged, "Oh, if that's okay." Silas turned around to look at Eden.

"Sure, yeah." Eden nodded.

"Alright, let's go then." Howlan grabbed his bag and made his way to the door. Neither Silas nor Eden moved to follow him. "O-kaay, I'll give you two a minute. Meet you outside." Howlan walked out and shut the door behind him.

Silas sat down on Howlan's bed and faced Eden. "I am so sorry about last night."

"What? Why?" Eden looked at him.

"Uh, well, you were tired, and injured, and I should have handled it differently. It was irresponsible and just-"

"Silas, shut up. That was all my fault, I took advantage of the situation in hopes of learning more. I'm fairly certain that you and I had an. . . intimate relationship before. I want to remember everything, and I want to get that back." Eden scooted to the end of his bed.

"Before you passed out, you were gonna say something, what was it?" Silas tried to hide how immensely comforted he was by Eden's words.

"I was gonna say something along the lines of, I love this, but I want to remember everything first. Or get to know you first, or whatever. I really don't wanna rush things or fuck this up, because when I'm with you, it's like the best feeling ever. I mean, not to sound corny, but I'm pretty sure that I really love you. And I need to. . . I need to not fuck this up. I need this to be real, I- I need this." Eden was looking down and squeezing his hands together.

"I understand. And you aren't fucking anything up, I'm willing to wait. I don't want you to try to rush remembering things. I've waited twenty-ish years. I can wait a little more. And until then, you can do whatever you're comfortable with." Silas nodded, gave Eden a smile, and excused himself to the bathroom. He sat on the toilet and covered his mouth. He just had to tell the love of his life that he was okay with not being remembered. He looked at the ceiling and blinked quickly, rinsed his face off, and left the bathroom. Eden was still there. "Oh, I thought you would be, uh, down with Howlan." Silas sniffed.