Deicide

February 18 23xx

Silas woke up cold. Despite being wrapped in Eden's shirt and jacket, and lying fully covered by the blanket, he was cold. He got out of bed, nodded to Howlan in the kitchen, and walked back to the bathroom. He showered slowly, the hot water almost burning his skin. Afterwards, he went back to Eden's room and pulled on a pair of black pants and a black shirt. Because it was Eden's funeral, and black was customary at funerals. Silas walked into the kitchen. Neither he nor Howlan said a word. He didn't drink coffee, or water, or anything. His heart pounded in his chest. He sat on the couch and stared at the wall across the room. His mind went blank. Something in him stirred, but he didn't have the energy to let it out.

Eventually, Howlan stood in front of Silas, dressed in black. "It's time to go."

Silas let Howlan lead him outside, where there was an orange taxi waiting for them. Silas stared down at the clean cab floor until he felt it come to a stop. He looked up at a large building, not a church, but just a formal building. His ears rang as he got out of the car. It was another clear, sunny day.

Inside the building was cold, only around sixty degrees.

And there it was. Down the center aisle, on a small platform, was a wooden coffin. The top half of it was open. Silas' shoulders and hands shook as he walked slowly up to the coffin. His heart sank to his stomach when he saw Eden. His skin was waxy and pale, his eyes were closed. He wasn't breathing. His chest didn't move up and down. His eyes didn't miraculously flutter open. He exhaled, and found that his chest was so tight that he couldn't inhale. He wanted to cry, but he didn't have the energy. He stood, as still and unbreathing as Eden, and just looked at him. That was all he could do. Look.

"He sure cleans up nice." Pakuri stood next to Silas.

Silas nodded. He twisted the ring on his finger a little. He wished he could just see Eden's eyes one more time.

"Come on kid, let's get you somethin' to eat." Pakuri led Silas to the food tables at the left of the room. He grabbed a plate for each of them and led Silas down the table, pointing at things that looked good and not moving on until Silas scooped things onto his plate.

When they sat down in their seats, Pakuri began to eat. Silas stared at Eden's coffin, he didn't even look at his food. There wasn't any service. There wasn't anyone going to stand at the podium and talk about Eden, or a slideshow of pictures of him being played. There were only four people there, after all. Silas looked over at Elaine. She was sitting in a seat at the back corner. She looked tired, pale. He couldn't bring himself to care. For the first time in days, he felt something aside from grief. He was angry. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to scream. He wanted to know why Eden had to die just so she could get away. Her life was never even in danger. Had it even been that urgent that she get away? Ultimately, there was no real reason that justified the loss of Eden's life. His hands tightened on his plate.

But Eden wouldn't want that. Eden would be so disappointed in him if he yelled at Elaine. So instead, he looked back at Eden.

He zoned out and lost track of time, it was a loud noise that brought him back. A yell, he realized.

"I'm sorry. If I could take back what I said, I would." Elaine was standing up now, her face was red and coated with tears.

"Sorry isn't gonna bring him back." Howlan towered over Elaine, seething. "What happened? What was it? Why was it so fucking necessary for you to leave right then?"

Elaine's face changed, her eyebrows furrowed. "I don't like it either. You think I'm overjoyed that he's gone? I was a nun. I feel horrible about being the reason he lost his life. I've done nothing but pray day and night that he might get another chance."