Deicide

February 20 23xx

Eventually, he looked up and the sky was different hues of orange and purple. And suddenly, without any warning, Eden had been dead for five days. He thought that Eden being comatose was hard. But sitting there, knowing that Eden was never going to get up again, it felt impossible.

Howlan came back again, but only for about five minutes this time. He commented on Silas' appearance, saying something about a shower. After making Silas take another drink of water, he left again. The flowers Elaine had left started to wilt. Pakuri came by with a sandwich at some point, talking to Silas for a while before also leaving again. Elaine even came back again, this time with a vase and a bottle of water. She put the flowers in the vase and filled it with water, trying to delay the inevitable. This time, she stayed with Silas for a while. She talked about random things, and even though Silas didn't move or acknowledge her, her presence made him feel just a little less alone.

Eventually though, she had to go.

When the sun reached the middle of the sky, Howlan came back. "Hey, Silas." His voice was soft. "Why don't you come home for just an hour or so, take a warm shower and change your clothes." Howlan patted his shoulder a couple times. "I'll stay here with Eden while you're gone, okay?"

Silas looked up. He held out his pinky to Howlan.

Howlan stared for a second, his eyes growing misty. He hooked his pinky into Silas', "I promise."

Silas nodded and stood up, making his way to the cemetery gate. He looked over his shoulder every now and then to make sure Howlan was still there. He didn't want Eden to be lonely.

The door to the house was unlocked. He wondered if Howlan had been leaving it unlocked all the time. When he got to the bathroom, he turned the light on and looked at himself. He really was a mess. The bags around his eyes were so prominent, they looked like bruises. He looked breakable, almost as breakable as he felt. His hair was matted down and he had dirt on his face and skin. He slowly took off his clothes and turned the shower on. The warm water stung his cool skin. He washed his hair and body off, dried himself, and made his way to Eden's room. It still had that smell in it, like leather and outside. He pulled on clean clothes and a pair of Eden's sneakers.

And then, as quickly as possible, he was out the door again. He went back to the cemetery, relieved to see that Howlan was still there. He stood over Howlan for a few minutes before sitting down again.

"Do you think you can come home to sleep tonight?"

Silas stared straight forwards for a minute.

"Eden will be okay, and you can come back tomorrow. But he'd want you safe and warm, don't you think?" Howlan tilted his head at Silas.

Silas nodded. He stared at Eden's name again. The sun was on his left now, it was setting. A whole day had gone by already. When did that happen?

"I'm gonna head back home now. If you do come back tonight, you can leave the tent and stuff." Howlan stood up. "Please come back tonight," Howlan swallowed his pride and took a deep breath, "I really don't like how much emptier it feels without you."

Silas looked up at Howlan, holding his gaze for a second. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't have the energy to speak. Instead, he nodded.

"Alright, be safe." And with that, Howlan left.

Silas looked back at Eden's grave. He wondered what it was like down there. Under the ground, in a box with little to no oxygen and absolutely no light. Eden could hold his breath for ten consecutive minutes, but it had been days since he last took a breath. Silas wondered what was happening to his body down there. Were his muscles becoming atrophied? Was his side infected now? Were his insides mush? Or had he still not even started decaying yet? When would he decay? Would Silas and Howlan still be around when Eden was nothing but bones? Or would Eden still be in pristine condition in ten years? Would Silas even survive that long?

He looked up, the sun was low on the horizon. He remembered his conversation with Howlan, and stood up. He tossed his water bottle into the duffle bag and zipped it up, tossing it over his shoulder before squatting down in front of Eden's gravestone. He set his hand to the left of Eden's name, rubbing his thumb over the E. After a few seconds, he stood up and left Eden alone.

The front door was unlocked, as it had been earlier. He locked it behind him and set the duffle bag on the ground. As he approached the door to Eden's room, Howlan popped out of his own bedroom.

"I'm really glad you're back." He turned around and walked back into his room.

Silas tilted his head a little. He certainly had no problems with Howlan, and he liked him and all, but were they that close? Why was Howlan being so nice? Silas shook his head and walked into Eden's room. He shut the door and layed back on the bed. He pulled Eden's pillow on top of him and held it tightly. It felt wrong to leave Eden alone, but it felt good to be back in his room. On Eden's bed, with Eden's pillow, surrounded by Eden, Silas was finally able to drift off to sleep.

He opened his eyes. He was back in that clearing out in the woods by the house. And Eden was there. Upon seeing Eden, Silas knew he was dreaming. But he couldn't quite bring himself to care. "Eden?" His voice didn't sound hoarse at all.

Eden turned to face him, they were both sitting cross-legged.

"Can you just say something? Please?" He set his hands on Eden's shoulders. And Eden smiled at him, but this time it wasn't a sad smile. He looked excited. Like something great was about to happen. "Eden?"

Eden launched himself forwards into Silas' arms, and despite it being a dream, he couldn't help but feel that this was somehow the real Eden.

"Eden," Silas' voice cracked. He wrapped his arms around Eden, and relief washed over him when he felt warmth coming from Eden's body. "Eden," He tilted Eden's face up to look at him. "How are- I mean, what even-" the different things he wanted to say were crashing against each other and overlapping in a way that Silas couldn't decipher.

Eden put a finger against his lips, shaking his head. He stroked Silas' face, touched his hair, kissed his head and eyelids, and finally he just hugged him.

"I miss you." Silas was fully crying now, speaking between sharp inhales.

Eden nodded against his chest.

"I just. . . I would do anything to have you back." Silas held Eden as tight as he could, afraid that if he loosened his grip even a little Eden would just disappear.

Eden set his hands on Silas' chest, with a look in his eyes that Silas had seen before. The last time he saw that look was when Eden left the Lab, with the promise of coming back for him.

Silas felt more tears spill out of his eyes. He nodded, because he understood. He nodded so hard his neck hurt.

Eden smiled a little, and pushed himself up. He stood up.

"Eden?"

Eden waved at him as he approached the trees at the edge of the clearing.

"Wait, no, Eden, wait." Silas took a few staggering steps forwards.

But Eden looked away from Silas and left.

"Eden, please," Silas reached out for him.