Deicide

February 3-4 23XX

Eden woke up warm. It was a good warm. He looked down at his arms. It was Silas, no longer asleep.

"Good morning." Silas waited for Eden to move away, or take his arms back.

"Morning." Eden instead pulled Silas closer up to his face and pressed their foreheads together.

"Did you sleep well?" Silas tightened his arms around Eden.

"Mhm. I had another memory dream, I think." Eden felt remarkably comfortable. "We were doing slightly PG rated things. How about you?"

"I slept wonderfully." Silas opened his eyes to look at Eden. "I believe we slept all day. I think it's tomorrow."

"Oh, great. We slept a whole day away, now we have one less day to make it through." Eden lifted his head up. "Howlan?" He yelled a little loudly.

"Still here, still avoiding you two." Howlan yelled back, not even opening the hatch to the top deck.

Eden hummed and fell back onto the bed. "I'll bet that if I slept for a long time, I'd remember a ton." Eden curled up into Silas.

"Maybe." Silas wrapped himself around Eden. "You shouldn't rush it though."

"I want to know." Eden wrapped an arm around Silas' waist. "It's killing me to feel this way and not know why."

"Feel what way?"

"I think you know."

"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it."

Eden took a breath. "It's killing me to love you so much, and to not know." He squeezed Silas in his arms. "And I know you said you'd wait, but I feel like at the same time, the longer it takes the more I'm losing you in some way. I don't want to wait."

"You're not losing me. You've had me for the past twenty years, you've got me even more now." Silas rubbed Eden's back. "How're your gashes doing? Do you need to change the bandages or shower or anything?"

"I wouldn't be opposed to a shower." Eden sat up and opened his locker, pulling out clean clothes and a towel.

"Be careful, call me if you need anything." Silas sat at the edge of the bed.

"Yessir." Eden disappeared into the bathroom, not bothering to turn the light on. He turned the water on and got undressed. He grimaced through washing his body, hating every second of it, clenched his teeth while cleaning the gashes, and slowly lifted his arms to wash his hair.

Finally, he turned the water off, closed his eyes as he dried off, and got dressed without looking. He was careful to avoid looking in the mirror.

"Did you put clean bandages on?" Silas sat cross legged on the end of the bed.

"Do I have to?" Eden fell onto his back on the bed next to Silas.

"Yes, you need to cover it." Silas grabbed the makeshift first aid from the locker and sat next to Eden. He hesitated to pull Eden's shirt up, or to touch his bare skin at all. "Is it okay with you if I. . ."

"This isn't about what I told you yesterday, is it?" Eden looked up.

"So what if it is?"

"I told you it doesn't bother me anymore."

"But you're lying. It does. You don't like to be touched, you can't even stand to look at yourself." Silas cupped his cheek. "I just want you to be comfortable."

"I am comfortable. With you is comfortable. Please don't hesitate to do anything, I really do feel safe with you." Eden kept his hands still.

"Okay." Silas nodded, "But you can't say it doesn't bother you anymore."