Sincerely, Vantae

Unrelenting Passion: Just One Night.

The sex was a mistake...Just a one-time mistake...

I repeated those words all morning long until I halfway believed them, until I made my way into the class I was currently stealing: Pastry Design.

I took an apron off the rack and found a seat in the back, waiting to see if there would be a no-show today so I would have a station to use, but to my surprise, there was one with my name on it.

In utter disbelief, I slowly stepped forward—running my fingers across the lettering to make sure it was real. Then I noticed that there was a note next to my name, so I opened it and read:

How ironic is it that the best person in the class isn't really in the class at all?

This is only for the summer...

—Chef Do Kyungsoo

PS—I want to talk to you about some other culinary programs that may be good for your future career...

I looked up and saw him nodding at me from the front of the room, a quick sign of approval.

Grateful, I took today's assignment card out of the pocket, hoping it would be something intricate enough to keep my mind off of vantae.

Today's assignment:

You are to make a soufflé using only the ingredients in your fridge.

Today's theme is "Unrelenting Passion: Just One Night."

I dropped the card to the ground.

Hours later, after my "professor" made me fill out a few applications for four of the top culinary programs in the world, I found myself walking along the shore barefoot—letting the warm winds knock at me left and right.

No matter how badly I'd tried to think about something else today, anything else, vantae's rough touches, kisses, and caresses kept coming to mind. I guessed the dirty sex part about him was true, but a part of me couldn't help but want to believe that last night was about a little something more than just sex.

No, stop it...Just sex...Just friends...

I pulled out my phone and called roseanne.

"Hey there!" She answered on the first ring. "How are you today?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Great! I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night. I'm going to drop off some drinks and snacks at your place on my way to work tomorrow, so we can drink before and after the club. I even got us some DVDs."

"You were serious about having a slumber party after we go out?"

"Totally. I am determined to make wooshik's party up to you."

"It's not that big of a deal, I swear. The thought is appreciated, though."

"Stop being so nice about telling me I'm a terrible friend." There was a smile in her voice. "I'll be over around eight, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Wait a minute. Why do you sound like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like...Like you're sad or depressed or something. Are you okay?"

I slept with vantae...Say it...I. Slept. With. vantae.

I couldn't get the words to come out. I wanted to tell her, but a part of me—a very strong part, was telling me to hold back.

"lili?" she asked. "lili, are you there?"