Paradise

Chapter Five

Crap! Crap!

I barreled down the hallway, opposite of the cafeteria.

Running past a group of perfectly-polished blonds, I picked up fragments of giggling conversation.

"Wow, look at her run!" blond number one exclaimed.

"Didn't think something that large could move so fast," blond number two said.

Whatever. I thought, turning down the last hallway. I just don't want to be late.

Women's Chorus was up ahead.

I threw myself at the door, and pushed through, the toe of my shoe hitting the inappropriately-carpeted floor just as the bell rang.

"Just in time, Miss Springfield," Mrs. Fielding, the tall blond choir teacher said. She smiled warmly. "Now put your things away, and take your seat. I'm about to call roll."

I inhaled deeply. My heartbeat was like thunder in my ears as I took my backpack into the small closet on the other side of the classroom (the appointed area for our things). I unzipped it and withdrew my choir folder, which contained all my sheet-music, rhythm-reading pieces and the few notes Mrs. Fielding gave us to study for our end-of-semester exam. Then I returned to take my designated spot (which was the first chair in the front row. The chairs behind me were stacked on two sets of bleachers). Kendall turned to me, her brown eyes shining.

"Guess what!" she whispered excitedly.

"Kendall Derrickson," Mrs. Fielding called, a smile warming her voice when she saw us talking. She jokingly gestured for us to quiet down.

"Here," Kendall said, laughing. She turned back to me when Mrs. Fielding called another student. "Guess what," she repeated, grinning.

I shrugged. "What?"

"Robert asked me to be his girlfriend! We're going to the Autumn formal together!"

Great.

I forced a smile, trying to look as happy as she felt. "That's ... great, Kendall." I added a "really" just for good measure.

She couldn't stop smiling as she talked about him. I wanted to roll my eyes, and tell her that it wasn't like he had proposed or anything, but it was only because I felt bitter. I wasn't all bad, though. Under this thick layer of jealousy, I felt bad that I couldn't be more supportive and happy for her. But it wasn't my fault. I had dreamed about Robert for a long time ... before she was even interested in him. So, try as I might, I just couldn't see past my own feelings enough to be even a little happy for her.

What kind of friend was I?

Then again, I had to wonder what she would have done had she known about my feelings for Robert. I bet it wouldn't have changed things at all. If anything, it would have added a layer of tension between us that I didn't want.

"Penny Springfield," Mrs. Fielding called.

I slumped in my chair. "Here," I answered.

Kendall studied my expression with a frown. "What's wrong, Pen?" she asked.

I shook my head with a sigh. "Nothing that I haven't complained about before," I said, although it wasn't entirely true.

Obviously not wanting to dwell on my problems any longer than she had to, Kendall gave me a big smile, and said, "Well cheer up, silly! Things can always get better if you allow them to."

Well, thank you! I wanted to exclaim, I'm glad you could take the time out of your busy schedule to give me valuable advice!

But I just smiled back. "I'll keep that in mind," I said through tightly-clenched teeth, afraid that any slack in my jaw would make my true emotions known, or that I'd burst into tears ... again. This time was different, though. I didn't want a mysterious cloud of bees to avenge me. I just wanted a little nurture from my best friend.