Forever and Always (Clexa AU)

XI

It was the first night in the past six weeks that Clarke had a good night's rest, even with the two hours of crying she and Lexa had done together, it was still a good night. She didn't wake up once, except when Lexa had to text Callie and use the bathroom so all the warmth holding her close had left, but once Lexa was back, behind her, holding her close, she was content.

At some point during the night, Clarke must have turned in her sleep because in the morning she woke up with her head in the crook of Lexa's neck, hugging her, while Lexa was softly rubbing her back. She let out a sigh, nuzzling against Lexa's neck.

"I missed this," Clarke whispered.
"Me too. How are you feeling?"
"Better...a lot better."
"I'm glad. Do you want something for breakfast? You know my skills are limited, but I can figure something out."
"No thanks. I just- I just wanna say like this for as long as possible, I- I don't wanna let go of you."
"Okay baby," Lexa whispered as she kissed Clarke's forehead.

They stayed like that. Lexa whispering how sorry she still was. Clarke whispering for her to stop saying sorry. Lexa rubbing Clarke's back. Clarke sleepily kissing and nuzzling into the crook of Lexa's neck. Both falling back to sleep every once in a while. Both whispering they loved each other. Until three in the afternoon, when they decided it was finally time to get up.

When they got up, Clarke had taken a shower first, telling Lexa that they couldn't take a shower together because she didn't feel comfortable with her body and she especially didn't feel comfortable with others seeing her body.

"I just- ugh, it took me so fucking long to be confident with my body," Clarke said as she rested her head on the table while Lexa made some food. "With everything that happened with my dad, and- and how he used to tell me how I wasn't good enough, how overweight I was. It took me so long. And now this, it makes me feel so disgusting, that I can't even let you look at me."

"You are not disgusting, lets's get that straight, okay?" Lexa asked as she walked over to Clarke, bending down next to her. "You are perfect the way you are. You are so beautiful just the way you are, and I don't want you to think differently. And baby, I am perfectly fine with not looking at your body for the rest of your life if you want. As long as I get to see the beautiful smile of yours and get to hear that beautiful laugh of yours every day, I could care less about anything else."

"I love you so much, Lexa."
"I love you more," Lexa whispered before softly kissing her head.
"I love you so much more."
"Not possible," Lexa whispered with another kiss this time on the cheek.

Lexa was pulled into a tight hug with Clarke's head resting on her shoulder. She rubbed the blonde's back, softly kissing her shoulder and neck.

"The oven."
"What?"
"Whatever is in the oven is burning," Clarke said, watching smoke start to come out of the oven.
"Shit," Lexa said as she jumped up.

When Lexa opened the oven more smoke started to come out of it making Clarke laugh. And when Clarke saw what was in there she laughed even more.

"This isn't funny," Lexa said glaring at Clarke.
"Why were the waffles even in there?"
"So they'd stay warm."
"Then why is it at 350?"
"It was at 200."
"Baby," Clarke said as she pointed at the temperature on the oven showing 350 degrees.
"I swore it was at 200."

"Well, it wasn't, so how about you sit down while I make the rest."
"No, I can do it, I just need to turn the oven down."
"No, I want- I- I want- okay umm, I need help, I- I need to talk to someone about everything so umm, can you look up some therapists around here? I just- I don't wanna ask my mom for help yet, I'm not ready."
"Oh, yeah, of course baby."

❀✿❀

Clarke had been going to therapy for four weeks, twice a week, and even though the therapist didn't know if Lexa joining their sessions would be a good idea, Clarke made Lexa come almost every time.