Insanity ♧ L. Cheong-San x OC (All Of Us Are Dead)

[16] aftermath

People come and go- it's the circle of life. But for the people they leave behind, there's an echo of hurt, anger, regret.

They say mourning is a way for the body to keep up with the emotional turmoil of the mind. We mourn not only the loss of life, we also mourn the memories that we will never make.

And when there is emptiness, the body waits in silence until the brim turns full- and then there will be chaos.

I sit at a quiet corner of the room, waiting for the chaos... waiting for the brim to turn full.

On-Jo is quiet beside me. She doesn't hold my hand like she usually does whenever I feel sad, but I can tell she's alert, watching me like a hawk.

Gyeong-Su rests on my other side, fiddling with his fingers nervously. He hasn't seen me this distraught, not like Cheong-San and On-Jo who were there for me when my father died. If only I can tell Gyeong-Su he has nothing to worry about- just being with me is enough.

I look forward with heavy eyes and meet Wu-Jin's stare. He momentarily stops biting his nails, regarding me with a careful look. It's almost like he's afraid to move as we hold each other's gaze- like I might break the moment he moves.

And then there's Su-Hyeok who paces around restlessly. I can see him sneak a glance once in a while, but like Wu-Jin, he's too afraid to move closer.

I can't blame them- even I wouldn't know how to approach someone who acted the way I did.

It somehow causes a wave of comfort to wash over me- knowing my friends are showing their concern in their own little way. I appreciate them letting me be, allowing me to calm myself down.

Briefly, I think of Cheong-San, smiling internally as I imagine him relentlessly fawning over me. It's his way of showing support, making sure I'm well taken cared of in my moment of weakness. Just as much as he annoys me endlessly, he shows his love just the same.

I stretch my legs out, making Gyeong-Su jump slightly.

"Na-Ri, do you need anything?" He asks, already sitting up straight beside me.

I shake my head, smiling weakly. "Just wanted to stretch my legs out."

On-Jo slides closer to my knees, massaging it lightly. "Are your knees hurting again?"

I stare at her closely, noting the dark bags under her eyes, her chapped lips and pale face. "How are you feeling, On-Jo?"

She blinks up at me in surprise.

I look down, playing with my fingers. "I haven't really asked how you were doing." I glance at Gyeong-Su sideways. "Both of you."

Gyeong-Su chuckles, ruffling my hair. "You don't need to worry about us, Na-Ri. You're the one who-" He stops, then looks down in shame. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be, Gyeong-Su." I hold his hand. "It's not your fault."

I look back at On-Jo, who has her eyes downcast. I smile and flick her chin, making her look up at me.

"I was thinking about my dad." On-Jo plays with the zipper of her jacket. "He told me that if I were in any danger, he would be the first one to help."

"Do you believe him?" I ask.

"He's not here." On-Jo replies sadly.

I put my free hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "Maybe he can't be here, even if he wants to."

On-Jo smiles weakly. "I guess we'll never know."

My hand slides down to grab On-Jo's, and I look at her and Gyeong-Su. "Let's stay alive until we find out, okay?"