Untangle Me

Chapter 34

Giada

"Stay. Please."

Silently, I find myself nodding without thinking of the consequences. All I know is that I don't want to leave like this and honestly, there's no way I could walk away from Andrea when he's looking at me the way he is now.

He accepts my answer, and carefully tugs me back towards the bed, where he hesitates for a moment before getting seated so we're leaning against the two different ends of his headboard.

"I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry, I know you want me to have all the answers but I really don't. Right now, as pathetic as it sounds, I don't feel like I can be sure of anything at all." He hesitates once again, seeming to think his next words through.

"But, I don't think I hate you," he says. For some reason, I find myself laughing. Might be the lack of sleep or whatever but either way, I'm laughing. "Okay. Okay, I renounce that statement. I know I don't hate you," Andrea adds, sounding amused himself.

In that moment, I'm almost able to pretend we just went back eight- nearly nine months. That we're still fine and that all this was a bad dream.

Knowing it's not feels like a sucker punch.

"So, what else was there? Right, that bull about me having been over you for months?" he blows out a breath, shaking his head to himself as his eyes take on a faraway look. "Christ, woman, I thought you were dead. Not only that but I thought it was my fault. You don't just get over that.

"And, thinking back I guess it was easy for me to treat you the way I did because all the grief I had been suppressing for the better half of a year had to morph into something new and as selfish as it may be, hate was the easiest option. So I forced myself to believe that you were a monster. That you had betrayed and played me and finally, made an attempt on my life.

"But fuck if I don't regret that now. I regret a lot of things, like not having found you right after the accident. But believe me when I tell you I honestly thought you were gone." Just like that, it seems like a dam had broken. 

Andrea goes on for several minutes, repeating how sorry he is and trying to explain all the things that were going through his head when he saw me again.

I believe him. Call it wishful thinking or naivety but the longer he keeps talking the more do I recognize the man I used to know. And the harder it gets to hold on to all my anger towards him.

"So," he finishes, "what do we do now?"

"I don't know. We can't move on like nothing happened. I think we're both still confused and need time to figure out where this is going but me, I'd like to see where this goes," I say slowly, putting myself out there. "No pressure, of course. Maybe we could take things slow, get to know each other again, if you're willing?"

"I'd like that. Does that mean you'll stay here?" he asks me. For half a second, I thought he meant his bed. Then I realise he means this building and my cheeks involuntarily heat up. Grazie a dio for dimmed lights.

(Thank God)

"Yeah, sure. If that's fine?"

"More than fine. Here I can keep an eye on you, you know. Make sure you don't get seduced by another sociopath," he teases me.

"You mean other than you?" I fire back, easily manoeuvring our old routine and behavior if only for a moment. Andrea seems to be losing himself in the memory as well since he laughs.

It's the first time I've heard it since that time he was joking with Leo in front of my cell. It's much more addictive up close.

I definitely need to pull myself together. Like, the two of us just agreed to take things slow and here I am, swooning over his laugh. Ugh.

"Touché."

"Thanks for that, by the way. I never really got the chance to say that," I tell him as he collects himself.

"Luciano had been out of control for a while, I just didn't care enough to do anything about it. I'm sorry you were pulled into that mess, though."

"It's fine, whatever. You couldn't have known I'd run off with him," I say, a weak attempt at a joke seeing as Andrea's hands and jaw are clenched. I hardly diffuse the tension and he blows out a breath.

"Sorry but I don't think I'm ready for that conversation yet," he tells me.

"Yeah, no worries. Not something I desperately want to think about either," I admit but before we can be swallowed up by silence again, I add, "It's late. I think I'll head back to my room now."

"Sure, you do that. And how about dinner tomorrow night? Something simple like that little place down the street you used to love. What was it called, Mario's?" he asks, making me smile once more.

My chest feels all warm and fuzzy and I realize how much I've missed this. Right now, I don't even care that it's thanks to Andrea.

"Rossi's, actually. But close guess," I tell him, chuckling. He joins me, watching me as he laughs.

"Okay, Rossi's it is. I'll see you then."

"Goodnight, Andrea," I wish him as I walk towards the door.

"Goodnight, Giada."

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Sorry for the short chapter but next up is the date night:))

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