Untangle Me

Chapter 44

Giada

"You said you'd always support me, no matter what!" I yell at my dad, turning halfway down the corridor. I'm so angry I wanted to just leave but it feels like if I don't speak my mind right now, I'll explode.

"That's before I knew you'd make choices that no parent can possibly support!" my father shoots right back, his face red from anger.

I can't believe this is happening. I mean sure, I didn't expect him to throw a party when I told him I'm dating a criminal, one he's been after for years, no less, but this? The two of us never fight.

Unless we do. It rarely happens but every once in a while it's like his anger issues and temper, which I inherited, burn up hotter and hotter until we explode. Usually ends in a shouting match so loud the whole neighborhood hears. One time, someone actually called the cops.

Mike was surprised to see my dad, who works at the same station, open the door.

We never get physical and we don't hold grudges but sometimes we can't help it. It's a healthy routine and the reason my dad and I get along so well. Usually.

"You have no idea what you're talking about! You don't even know him!" I protest at the top of my lungs. My throat already feels raw but damn if this isn't one of the best feelings there is.

"And I don't plan on changing that!"

"You're so stubborn!" I yell.

"You're acting like a child!" he shoots back.

"You raised me this way!" I say, close to bursting out in tears because this is so frustrating! Why can't he hear me out?

"So you think this is my fault?" my dad demands. I don't, really, but somehow that's not what I say.

"Maybe it is! Maybe if I had seen what love looks like growing up, I would know what to look for now. Perhaps if you had managed to get a relationship instead of loving a rock in our backyard- because that's what it is, dad. That's not her, it's just stone- I wouldn't make such horrible choices!" I mock him.

No idea why I said that. God, that was such a cheap blow and I regret it the second the words roll off my tongue. Especially when my dad takes a staggering step back, studying me with furrowed eyebrows as if he didn't recognize me.

Now I really feel like crying.

My eyes shoot open as I wake from the memory but I can't move. I try to gasp in relief, want to sit up but my whole body is as stiff as a board, each muscle painfully taut.

White, hot panic shoots through me when I'm paralyzed for another second, still unable to draw in a desperately needed breath. I need air, what's wrong with my lungs? And why can't I move?

"Giada? Hey, what happened? You okay?" Andrea asks from beside me but I can't answer. I can't even look at him or shake my head. I can't breathe-

And then, suddenly my lungs fill with air. I jolt into a sitting position, clutching my chest as I greedily take in as much air as I can.

I can feel the mattress shift beside me but don't turn toward Andrea until his hand is rubbing comforting circles on my back.

That's when the first sob erupts from my chest. I take my fist in my mouth and bite down on my knuckles to stop the tears pricking my eyes but it's hopeless. Within seconds, big drops of water roll down my cheeks and drip onto the shirt I'm wearing.

I can't believe I said that to my father. I thought I remembered everything now but the hits keep coming. For once, I wish I didn't have to get all my memories back.

I try to think logically and remind myself that my dad and I must've made up because he met Andrea later on. Still, I can't remember what I said to apologize.

And that means I'm not done remembering. Which means I'm looking forward to more nights like this. I'm already so tired.

I keep crying but it's no longer because of what I just saw. Not really. I think I'm just crying because I'm frustrated and so exhausted, mentally and physically.

"Sweetheart, come here," Andrea says, pulling me against him so my head is buried in his chest and his arms are shielding me from the outside world once again.

I breathe him in gratefully, wishing I could stay here forever.

When my tears have stopped flowing and my breathing has returned to normal, Andrea speaks again though we stay the way we are. "What happened?"

"Memory. They come back every time I sleep. But I thought I was done," I mumble against his warm skin. Honestly, I'm not even embarrassed about having cried all over his pecs. A girl could do worse.

"Bad memory? What was it?" he asks softly while his fingers absently run through my hair.

"Fight with my dad."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad. I mean, you two seemed fine at dinner, right?" he tries to cheer me up.

"I said some pretty bad things," I groan into him, hugging his waist a little tighter. "I'm so tired," I add.

Andrea takes that as his cue to change our position, lying on his back and pulling me right down with him so my head rests right above his heart. For a few beats, all I do is listen to its steady rhythm.

Dumdum dumdum dumdum

My eyes close on their own accord and I can barely stifle a yawn.

"I got you. You're going to be fine," he mutters tiredly, his words slurring together.

I want to shake my head. To tell him that I'm not sure how much longer I can take this, especially if my memories start revolving around my father. The way I've dealt with his loss so far is by not thinking about him. It's like I've convinced myself he's on vacation somewhere and everything is fine.

I know it's denial but there was nothing else for me to do. Not unless I wanted to fall apart completely. Alone, at that, because it's not like I've had anyone to help me through this whole mess.

Now here I am, silently wallowing in self-pity once more but not uttering a word because the man beneath me has already fallen back asleep.

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Pretty chapter number😫

I finished November 9 and It Ends With Us today... both... bear w me might have to process some emotional damage in this story lmaoo

Also, want to let yk that u guys rly make my day like we're almost at 7k reads!!! So thanks smm and wish y'all the best of days<3