Right Where You Left Me

barely friends

new year's eve

As the first semester comes to an end, so do my stressful classes. I pass most of classes with high 90s, which is impressive considering I skipped class a lot. I don't reach out to Cole for tutoring. He doesn't reach out to me. We don't speak of that random night on Halloween. I prefer it this way; he wasn't really a good kisser anyway.

Christmas, to say the least, is an awkward ordeal. Nancy suspects Nate and I had a falling out, but she doesn't push it. We ate our roast beef and mashed potatoes in tense, cold silence.

On new year's eve, my doorbell rings and Kate and Alex barge through. Once we're seated in my room, Alex pulls out twenty different eyeliners from her bag and holds them up with a devilish grin.

"Time to get ready for the last and first party of the year," Kate whoops, and plucks a random liner out of Alex's hand.

I carefully select a blank pen liner and outline my eye, smudging it with a pointed brush and adding glitter. I love glitter. Alex and Kate change into their dresses and tell me to meet them downstairs when they're ready. I pull my dress out of the closet and close my eyes, mentally preparing myself for a night of socialization and being high.

7:30 pm

When I finish getting ready, I stop to admire myself in the mirror. My dress is nothing crazy - I found it at the thrift store. It's a simple navy blue silk thing, with lace at the low neckline and thin loose straps. I'm pretty sure it's actually a nightgown. The dress is loose on my body and stops high on my thigh.

I ditch the converse for black boots to combat the snow outside. In my hand is the tiny, vintage leather Coach handbag I found on the shelf next to the dress. My hair is in my loose curls and a red pendant rests on my collarbones, the red jewel a stark contrast to the midnight dress.

When I get downstairs, Kate and Alex have arrived. They're wearing matching floral dresses in different colors. Kate is adjusting a necklace on Alex and smiles at me when she sees me.

Kim is also there, looking stunning in a simple tight black dress with white sneakers. She hasn't been as rude to me lately; and, not wanting to rock the boat, I haven't done anything to her either. We haven't gone so far as to compliment each other, but she smiles at me in the hallways and finally follows me on Instagram.

Nate is next to her, helping her slip on his old jean jacket over her shoulders. He looks up and notices me. His hands, which were busy cuffing the sleeves for Kim, falter as he looks me up and down.

"Hi," I say to no one in particular.

"Adya, you look amazing!" Alex exclaims, running over to me in her heels and grabbing my hands. "I love your dress. And that necklace. Oh my god, you look so good."

Kate raises a brow. "You won't be cold in that?" she asks. "It's so chilly outside."

I pause. "Shit, you're right. I think there's a jacket in the closet, gimme a second."

I return holding an oversized leather jacket in my hand. It's old and I think it used to be Rick's. I pull it over my shoulders; the sleeves fall past my knuckle and the bottom of the jacket is longer than the dress, but it keeps me warm and it looks good.

"Alright people," Kate announces to the living room. "Nate, you're taking Kim in your car. Alex and Adya, you're coming with me. Adya, my number one goal for tonight is to find you someone to kiss at midnight."

I roll my eyes and blush red. "It's fine, Kate." The truth is, I don't mind being the third wheel. Loneliness is not a foreign concept to me, and I've learned to find contentment in the silence of my own company.