Right Where You Left Me

birthdays are overrated

Prom night comes and goes like a bird in the wind.

I always thought prom would be a big night I'd remember for years. But to be quite frank, I was drunk for majority of it. All I remember is stealing sips of wine with Nate. We bought the good, high quality stuff for once, and it was actually enjoyable.

I also remember dancing. So much that my heels hurt. My dress was a silky red thing, with a low neckline and fabric that pooled at my feet. Nancy helped me make it out of an old silk fabric sheet we found at the store.

I remember Nate going up to the DJ and requesting a song. I remember getting excited as mirrorball began to play. He asked me to dance, and we slow danced under the mirrorball as mirrorball played. I hummed the lyrics. Nate whispered sweet nothings to me. We stumbled home in the dark and fell asleep with kisses and giggles. Sometime in the early hours of dawn, we woke up and Nate somehow managed to organize a huge afterparty on the lake. We danced on the beach and picked up the trash after.

The class of '22 graduated June 30th, 2022, on a warm sunny day.

Alex, Kate, Nate and I picked up our diplomas and smoked cigarettes all the way down the lake, where we stripped off our gowns and jumped right into the cold water. Nate and I kissed as the rain poured down heavily. In the water, somewhere in the hazy rain of the lake, Nate asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. His lips were on mine again before I could overthink things.

Summertime was cruel, as all summers before college are. We are desperately grasping onto our youth, not wanting the recklessness of high school to slip away from our tight holds. Nate and I went skinny dipping. We ate ice cream at two in the morning. We smelled like wine and smoke and lake water and chlorine all the time. Strands of our hair were bleached from the sun, and freckles splashed across Nate's nose. I counted them one day, tracing the curve of his nose with my finger. We lay drunk on the roads, our heads tipped towards the stars, our minds blank.

"One year ago today you came back," I whisper, facing Nate in my bed. I am curled into his bare chest, my legs tucked towards me.

He smiles sleepily down at me and toys with my necklace. "One year ago today I turned around on our stupid little porch and looked you in the eye and knew I wasn't over you."

"Eighteen years ago today you were born," I say.

"Birthdays are overrated," he says against my lips.

I pull his head to mine in a kiss. His hand moves across my back and my fists knot in his soft hair. His lips taste like everything I've ever wanted.

I pull away from him and sit up. "I have an idea," I say.

"What's your idea?" he says, laughing lightly.

I tug on his hand and pull him out of bed. Together we pull on proper clothes and our red converse shoes and stumble out the door. We make our way to the bus stop. The bus stop where Nate left me. We both grow silent, and then he says softly, "This is right where I left you."

"Right where you left me," I hum back softly. "Things have changed though, haven't they?"

When the bus arrives, we pile in and kiss in the backseat until we get to the subway. The subway takes us straight to the heart of the city, right to the little restaurant I sat in on the day Nate before came back.

We sit and watch the sun rise over the skyline together, our hands laced. He looks over at me and takes a sip of his coffee. I tilt my head back and let the sun hit my face, enjoying the warmth on my skin. Nate presses a soft kiss to my neck and I smile and turn to him.

"I got you something," Nate says. He holds out a little envelope for me. Inside are two tickets to the Chase Ashford concert.

I don't even thank him. I just drop the envelope into my tote bag and kiss him hard on the mouth. He tastes like coffee and cigarettes and minty gum and spicy vanilla and hope, and he is mine. Mine forever.

"I'm still hotter than him though," Nate says when we finally take a kissing break, and I just grin and shove him lightly.

We settle into silence and look out at the skyline again. The sun is higher now, shining her rays all along the shiny glass buildings. I know that the city and its sharp edges are a contrast to what Nate and I have at home. Woodvale with it's rolling green hills and gravel lanes and dirt paths. Woodvale with it's cemetery and broken memories and rumours that spread like the plague. Woodvale with Rick and Nancy and Alex and Kate and Kit and Linda. I know a part of me and Nate will always stay in that stupid little town. I know a part of me will always love it. But I crave something more.

I will always crave more.

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