Fall Is Beautiful

S3 Chapter 1: I found you

We left before the sun rose that morning. I was exhausted, but the cold kept me awake. I sat on the back of one of the trucks, with Jafar next to me. Ever since last night, I didn't know how to talk to him. He had taken off his mask and hood a while back, probably relishing the wind in his hair. I felt content sitting next to him, as if everything had turned right again. Just watching him smile softly anytime he looked at me. He had leaned his head on my shoulder, and I could feel him humming. My heart warmed, but I didn't know why. I wasn't gay... was I? I shook that from my head. Jafar was at least 2 years younger than me, I could never become a pedophile like that.

My heart stilled pained at the loss of Hinahoho, but for some reason I almost felt relieved he was gone. Maybe I had some pent up anger for him that I could finally let go of? I don't know. Either way, I was happy now. The first time I'd been truly happy in years.

...

"Did you see the kid? The one with the scars?"

"Yeah. I bet if he didn't have them he'd be adorable, don't you think?"

"Definitely, but he's cute enough already, I think the scars just add to maturity."

"WAHA- you crack me up, dude. I doubt the poor fella could even shoot straight."

We had stopped for the night to save gas. I overheard some people talking about Jafar, who was asleep next with me. We decided to share a tent to save space, and besides, I didn't mind sleeping with him at all. I usually never cared about who I slept with. I laid down next to him, looking at his features. They seemed... so familiar, like I had seen him before, known him before. I felt a queasy feeling in my stomach, and the urge to hug him overcame my sense of boundaries. I reached over, hugging him close to my chest. "Good night." The latter groaned slightly, shifting a little, before falling back to complete sleep.

...

That morning I awoke with a sense of dread for some reason, like a storm was coming in. A bad one. I had washed that feeling away when I had breakfast, and we started to pack up our things. I hadn't seen Jafar that morning at all, and I wondered if I should go out looking for him, but decided against it. No matter how much my heart wanted to deny it, I didn't know him. I started to roll up my stuff into my backpack when my hand hit something. I let out a yelp, hoping no one heard me. Slowly, I checked inside, and found a picture book. Oh... that's right. Sharrkan had given this to me before I left. But that brought the question to my mind... why'd I leave? Then there was the strange way Hina was acting, saying I had a little brother and that he killed him. I shuddered, flipping through the pages. Most of them were pictures of me and my friends, but the last one... the very last one, was a picture of 14 year old me, standing in front of the school with a young boy with silver hair. That... that couldn't be. I read the note underneath the picture over and over again, my mind racing. No. This couldn't be real. I didn't have a brother. I... why couldn't i remember anything?! why was I so useless-

"Sin?" I blinked, turning to the now opened tent. There stood Jafar, eyeing me. "What are you looking at? We're leaving in an hour." I tried to close the book before he could see, but he grabbed it, squatting next to me. "Huh? Seren actually kept that...? And that photo too? How'd they get that?" He whispered to himself, before realizing i was still there and shuffling away. My heart skipped, and for the first time in the past 2 weeks, I felt a reason why. Why had I felt such a strong connection with Jafar. I grabbed his bag, rummaging through it. If this was real, if all of these things coming into my head were real, then he'd have to have it. He would've- "Sin! What are you doing!? Give me my bag back!" I refused, I had to find it. Had to. Had to had to had to, had to. Then, my hand made contact with something, and I pulled out something. Jafar's eyes widened, and I could see out of the corner of my eye tears starting to form. He dug his nails into my arm. "PLEASE STOP!" His voice was nothing like before.... It was like that time... 4 years ago...

"Hey Jaffy~" I coed, pulling the book away. Jafar gave me a weird look as if to say, "what are you planning?" I just chuckled. "Guess what today is~" I coed once more. Jafar sighed.

"The day you finally stop flirting with woman mama's age?" Ouch, that hurt. And I wouldn't call it flirting... more like, socializing to a certain degree...

"No. Something better!" I tried to change my mood back to lighthearted.

"I don't know... what could be better than my older brother finally stopping being into milf's?" He shrugged. I sighed, my head hanging low.

"Jafar, it's Christmas." I said, my cheerful tone losing its purpose. Jafar's eyes went wide.

"Wait? It's today!? Aw man time went by so quick! Mama and papa must be worried sick of where we are and-"

"Here!" I didn't want him to finish that sentence. That would bring a lot of dread to the both of us. I pulled out the "doll" in front of my brother, and he stared at it.

"You... made this?" He asked, pointing at me. I nodded. Jafar took the "doll", looking it over. For a moment, I thought that maybe my efforts had been for nothing. Maybe he didn't like it at all... but, when I looked at him again, he was smiling, holding the doll close to his chest, tears welling in his eyes. "Thank you." He whispered. I smiled, my day getting 10x brighter.

"Merry Christmas, Jafar."

... I stared at the doll, the one Jafar had named "Vittel" all those years ago. I couldn't believe it, that I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten my own little brother. Jafar grabbed Vittel from my grip, holding it close to his chest. "You weren't supposed to see!" He cried, "I didn't want to hurt you again!" Again? Why would Jafar ever think that he hurt me? I knelt down closer to him, putting my hand behind his head and putting his face to my chest, hushing him.

"You've done nothing wrong..." I whispered, running my hand through his hair. It was the same as I remembered, so soft, so smooth, just like our mothers. He pushed away, Vittel falling to the floor.

"No! You don't get it! I took away your memories! I HURT YOU!" I was shocked at what I was hearing. Jafar? Taking my memories away? How? Why? "I saw you in the snow." He started, sniffling. "I was so shocked I didn't know what to say but- but you were on your death bed... I looked into your memories and found out that you were there because of me... So I thought of the quickest way to get you to leave.... And that-"

"Was to make me forget you." I stated, and Jafar nodded. He couldn't look me in the eye, could barely even speak. I just looked down at the ground, wondering how everything went so damn wrong. "I thought you were dead, Jafar." No response, so I just continued. "I had nothing to live for, like you said... family is the reason most people are alive. Yet... I kept living because there was the slightest hope that you'd be alive, and you wanted to throw it away?" My voice became harsh. I was frustrated, of course I was. My brother tried to get rid of me.

"You don't understand, Sin! It's been 4 years!-"

"And so what? That gives you the right to throw me away? To forget me? To make me forget you?"

"No! Not at all! People change, and I didn't want to you to see-"

"Who you've become? I saw it the moment you saved me from that worker."

"S-Sin..."

"I know people change. I know you've changed, I know I've changed, but that doesn't give you the right to mess with my memories! Did you even think about the consequences of doing that? Did you think about the slight possibility of what I endured to find you? To stay alive just to see you again?" Jafar was balling his eyes out, and I wanted to hug him, but more than that I wanted to hit him. I was mad, furious even. Before I could even say anymore, Jafar darted out of the tent, without taking anything. I stared down at Vittel and picked it up, seeing at how it was slowly coming apart. I stared at it for a moment, before grabbing it's head and ripping it off from it's body. It fell to the ground, now in 2 separate pieces.

I finished packing, and left the rest for when Jafar returned.

So how we feeling?
I know how I'm feeling. Depressed.