The Bad Boy He Never Was

Chapter 10 A Little Blood Never Hurt No One

I tried not to look at Brad the whole ride. But I can completely say I succeeded. I couldn't help myself I was so angry at Brad but, I was also angry with myself. I can't just lash out like that. I can't just say what I think even if I want to. And I defiantly can get high with a guy when I have a boyfriend. I need to stay on safe ground.

What would Daniel say? Who cares!

What would dad say? Maybe he'd be proud that your having fun.

Brad encouraged me to have fun. Oh how I wish I could.

Each time I looked over at Brad he would look my way and catch me in mid glimpse. Quickly I would turn away and be even more frustrated than before. Gee what is he psychic? I spent the whole ride all worked up about what recent events had just occurred I didn't realize that we were parked and sitting in my drive way. At least it was a quick drive! At least? I really only wanted it to last longer.

I wanted Brad to see through the walls that I put up and tell me that its not okay. That I can let it out. That I don't have to hide from him. What am I saying. I'm just stupid to think that he would ever do anything like that. So damn stupid.

I hesitated to get out but realized that there was nothing more to say. I didn't even look back when walking to the door, but I heard the sound of the engine of Brads truck speeding down the road. For a second I wondered where he was going. Then convinced myself that I don't care. He can do what he wants. Go get laid at some drug dealers party. I am the smart one who deals with my anger the appropriate ways. I take deep breaths and- punch a wall?

My hands were in tight fists. Not thinking I swung at the closest thing. Which so happened to be a wall. Slowly I opened my hands to reveal 3 crescent shaped cuts and one indent from my pinky nail that had yet to puncture the skin. Blood was falling to the floor from the hand I used to punch the wall. One of the knuckles was scratched up pretty good causing most of the bleeding. Well the 2 on each side of it were just scraped but enough to cause a rush of pain.

After cleaning up my hand and bandaging it all up I made myself some tea and sat on the couch staring at the black screen of the powerless TV. I sipped on the tea hoping to calm my nerves but I think punching the wall worked better.

After that thought I couldn't think of anything. I refused to think about Brad. Daniel was a subject I didn't want to confront. Thinking of mom would just upset me and dad.. Well think of dad revealed a dark past that was impossible to forget no matter how hard I tried.

I just want to turn back time. I want to take everything mean I've ever said to him or done to him back. If I could of done things different I know I would do it in a heart beat. Anything to have him back in my life would be worth it. What if Brad gets in an accident when he's out? What if he gets so mad that he does something reckless! I couldn't live with myself if something ever happens to him.

Thats when I realized that I don't want to be alone right now.

I called Daniel to come over and keep me company well Brads gone. Being with Daniel is better than being by myself in a big empty ghostly house. Before he came over I took a hot shower to erase the stench of weed. That will be mine and Brads secret. Daniel does not need to know about that little incident.

The doorbell rang. I walked to answer but it opened before I got there. Daniel walked in. With his shoes still on might I add. "Hey." I tried to smile at him but it seemed fake.

"Hey babe. Got anything to drink?" He kissed me quickly. I didn't even have time to purse my lips.

"Yeah, there's stuff in the fridge. You can go look." I was only really telling him to go look himself to test him.