All About River

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"YOU gave reasons to not trust you Ro. I can't even look at you the same. Why? Because it fucking hurts Ro. I trusted you so so so much, I let my guard down...and look at what you did." The words echoed in River's mind. Pounding at his skull. Slicing at his heart. It destroyed him to hear it. To know all that she had said was true.

It was almost sickening how every word she uttered dripped with distaste. It was hurting him so; She had never even raised her voice at him.

"Fuck!" River mumbled against the skin of his thigh. He finally lifted his head from his crouched position, his stomach was spinning. He tried so hard to resist the urge to vomit all over his bedroom floor. His hands slid to his temples trying to massage the sharp heavy pounding in his head away. The muscle in his right cheek flexed as he clenched and unclenched his jaw.

Grief was coming in waves, hitting his shoreline at such a rapid pace, the feeling almost made him bawl.

River wanted to dissipate into thin air. His body was aching. His emotions were going haywire. He was quite literally losing his marbles. Up until now River never noticed just how much he was attached to her. Just how much he longed for her. It never occurred to him how stable she made him feel. And now that she had brazenly stormed out of their apartment. It was all dawning on him.

River scrambled off his wooden floors, the tears already spilling. He blindly searched for his cellphone, eyes hazy, swollen, and red. Once he had found it, he swiftly tapped on his most recent call, dialing the number back.

It rung so painstakingly slow, and by the fourth she had picked up the phone. He knew she'd answer, the two were so painfully in love that it hurt to be apart.

River sobbed into the phone, unable to coherently form a sentence. He could hear her shallow breaths in his ear. This was hurting the both of them.

A great tremor overtook his lean frame. Tears fell, and fell, and continued to fall.

"T—Thea p-please—" He tried to speak but a gut-wrenching sob broke through his words. He bit his shaky lips trying to control himself.

"River." Her voice came solemnly, "River..." She sighed trying to continue, fighting her own tears on the other side of the phone. "I'll be back home later tonight. Don't wait for me, just get some rest, Ro."

The phone went silent as the line went dead. River shakily dropped his phone knowing that he couldn't even get a single word out. Pathetic, the word ran through his head. Bringing him a reminder that he had done this. He had brought upon this tear in their relationship. And it all made him wonder if it would ever be the same again.