Realisations - Tejran

|1.4| ROUGH PATCH ?

'Try harder bitches ' They had always said . They believed in themselves and thier relation . None could break them apart and that was a fact. To the outside world their relationship may look toxic , but only they knew how they tried to keep their relation from getting toxic . After constant questionings, doubts , bashings and  hurdles they had kept their relation protected .

Karan never fought with her because he thought she was wrong. He has  always said that he fights with her because he is her guy and he has the right . Yes, he sometimes speaks bullshit  in anger but that doesn't mean he means it. He thought that teja knew that  but now whatever happened  made him realise otherwise . She had held onto his words and was affected by them .

Teja had never been this vulnerable . She felt alone . She knew the only person in this house who is hers is karan but she had pushed him away too .  All those years she had created this wall around her who none were able to cross . She had let  in only a few  people in her life . Karan had very easily broken those walls around her and made place in her heart .

She hates being vulnerable and letting people see her like this . To the world she was a happy go lucky girl and she didn't want to change that .

She couldn't blame Karan too though.She had been at fault too . She knew she had overreacted and should have chosen another time to talk to him . He was clearly disturbed with Umar leaving and the bashing and she had to just go and push him more . She just wanted him to let his feelings out rather than overthinking . But guess it didn't turn out as expected .

She would have obviously not stretched  the thing if he would not have gotten the pool taunt again . It pinched her deep every time he said that because that was her coping mechanism and her one breakdown was being made fun of .

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They had not talked to each other the whole day . Karan had decided to give her some space to rethink her decision . He knew what she said was in a fit of anger and she would never take an imoulsive decision to breakup like this .

Teja , on the other hand , just wanted him to come and reassure her that he would never let her go away  , that they are never going to fall apart . But that never happened .

They had both stolen glances of each other quite frequently . She had served food in a bowl and silently kept it on his bed's sidetable .

In the evening , she was sitting on the green sofa outside while she kept glancing at Karan who was having a conversation with Rashmi and Rakhi .

She sighed and closed her eyes . She had never felt so alone before . Outside the BB house , she had surrounded herself with people who she knew would be there with her whenever she needed.

She knew the only geniune friend she could get from bb house for a lifetime will be Nishant . He may not be with her in the game but as a friend , he'll be there always .

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Karan entered the bedroom to see Teja's bed empty .

Where was this girl ?

He wandered around the living room , indoor garden , washroom but couldn't find her . Maybe she's in smoking room .
He decided to go back to bedroom and wait for her .

It felt like a lifetime had passed when she came back .He had already slept till then .  She entered the bedroom to see him sleeping . What happened to never going to sleep  without resolving fights !

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The next morning , loud song woke up Karan . He lazily stretched his hand and looked on his right to see if teja had woken up. Her bed was empty . He sat up and looked outside . She was in the kitchen warming her water instead of dancing. He could see  Rashmi and Nishant dancing outside .

He got up and went in kitchen . Just as he entered Teja took her exit and went outside . Karan shook his head at her indifference and started to prepare tea.

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Karan went outside with two cups of tea in his hands . He looked for Teja and found her sitting on the green couch .
He silently  kept the cups  on the round table infront , took her legs and kept them on his legs And then picked up the cups and forwarded one to her . She quitely looked at him and took the cup .

"I am not how you think i am " She whispered . Karan was  confused what was she referring to .

"What ? " He asked her gently . He knew this was maybe the only chance to have a conversation and clear everything .

"I am not what you think i am karan . I am not selfish . Maybe you aren't able to understand me . Just like others" She said not looking at him . Karan could sense bitterness in her tone when she said the last line. He actually did nor know how to react to what she said.

She was the only person he had observed so keenly from the very beginning. If he wouldn't understand her after such obsevation , then whom would he understand ? He knew they are yet to know about each other's outside life But he thought he had understood the kind of person she is .

"I have always tried to keep my private life away from world Karan . I hope you know accepting you as a boyfriend was a very big deal for me . If My boyfriend only thinks that all i have done is for camera , and makes fun of my weak moment , Tell me how do I  even expect others to respect me and not make fun of me? " Teja's voice was blank .She had let what she was thinking from so long out but without showing any emotions.

Rakhi and Pratik had again taunted her in the morning about how she knew acting well , she was such a good actress. They may have been saying it infront of her in a fun manner but she knew it was an indirect taunt .

" Did someone say something to you ? Tell me ? " He was worried at her bringing this topic suddenly . He never intended to make fun of her and she knew that too.

"Why ? Will you say something to them ? How ? Kis muh se jaake bolega ki meri leech girlfriend ka mazaak mat udao jab tu khud hi wahi karta hai sunny ? " She finally looked at him . Karan averted his eyes from her

" Tujhe yahi samjhane ki koshish kar rahi thi . I have given you the right to make fun of me or whatever you want to do . But not infront of others . It gives them encouragement to mock me " she continued

" I am sorry about what happened yesterday with the shamita topic . I know i overreacted and i have cleared my point with her . You can have whatever conversation you want to have with her now  . I don't care " She sat up straight and tried to pull her legs from her hold .

"You don't care ? Are you sure ? " He looked at her . She was clearly possessive of him . Why would she suddenly say that . Was she trying to distance herself .

She tried to pull her legs from him again but he didn't let go .

"Listen to me! I am sorry if you felt like i don't respect you Teja. Because believe me I do . You are the strongest woman i have seen beside my mother and I love you for who you are " He pulled her closer and held her face in his hands

Teja removed his hands from her face and sighed. "You don't get it , do you ? You say something else Karan and your actions speak something else . Maybe clear yourself out . Then we'll talk ."
She stood up and went inside .

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Okay , i have decided to continue this as a whole book .  I had previously decided it to be a TS , or one shots story . I abandoned the idea i had previously and decided to write something completely different .

I'll either end it in a few more chapters or continue it further if i get good response to the story .