Him.. (Val x Reader/oc)

Maybe he isnt a monster...

(Babycakes Pov)
I shuffled around in the bed, moving my arm and searching for Val. He must've gotten up earlier...I wonder why he didn't wake me...is he embarrassed? Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea! I sat up and stretched, then rubbed my eyes. "Mm....Val?" I called, my voice still groggy and raspy, that's when I noticed he was laying on the couch in the bedroom, he stretched and groaned, then looked at me and said "hey there babycakes" he let out a raspy chuckle, I waved. "We must've had a better time than I originally would've thought" he said, picking up my bra with his finger and holding it up. I took it and put it on, then nodded as he stood up and stretched, I could here his bones cracking. He reached for his cigarette packet "Cigarette?" He asked, holding the packet out for me, "um...no, no thank you Val" he shrugged and lit his, I looked at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table '5:56 A.M.' it read. He took a long draw of the cigarette and it hissed as he inhaled the smoke, then blew it out with a quiet groan, "Mm..thas better.." he bent over and picked up a red silk robe then slid it on swiftly as the towns clock dinged loudly in the background, letting the city of hell know it was now 6:00 A.M., he noticed my distraction, then looked at me and asked "how're you feelin' this mornin?" I looked at him and smiled a bit "good...maybe a little sore...but um.....does this mean anything? Val?..." the question had been burning my mind since he asked me to go on a date with him, he looked a bit shocked...I guess that alone could answer my question..."Um, no, no, think nothin of it baby, you deserved it after all, it was more of a...Thank you, than an 'apology'" Great..."Deserved what?....we did more than—" "The dinner." My smile faded as his grew wider, he chuckled and took another drag of the cigarette, then the room filled with silence.
Silence...
Silence.....
"I'll tell you what, y'know what I like to do on uh..particular mornin'z?.." I shook my head. "Here, I'll show you.." he bent down again and reached under the bed, tossing my underwear up to me, then pulling out a small case. He unlatched it and pulled out a black violin with the words "j't'aime, j t'adore.." (I love you, I adore you) on the side. He put the cigarette in his mouth and grabbed the bow of the violin, then mumbled through the cigarette "check this out.." he displayed the violin to me, I was honestly confused. "Hm..?" "What? You ain't neva seen one of these when you was..alive? It's a violin, stupid. You play it? Like a musical instrument?" Ouch.."I know what it-" he chuckled and raised a hand, shushing me. More silence. "So..why do you have one? Do you like to play?.." I asked, it seemed the closer I got to the 'moth man' the less scary he had become. He looked down at the instrument, his face showed a touch of nostalgia, confusion, maybe even a little saddened?..."I....I guess..when I was alive, I must've done it...I still remember how to play, though, I don't ever remember learnin how to play it..So I guess I must've learned how to play when I was alive." The way he spoke, the way he looked, it seemed like he was lying. But I think he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince me. "That's..nice" I said, trying to cheer him up, he was still just staring at it. He put his cigarette out in the ashtray. "But still! What I like to do each mornin, is take it out, dust it off, go out onto the balcony and just...." He took in a big breath, then let it all out slowly as he opened the balcony and walked out, standing in the breeze. I sat in bed and watched. "...Breathe in that fine hellish air..". I stared at the violin, "would you...play for me?..." I asked. He chuckled a bit and then drew the bow back, placing the violin in a proper standing position and beginning to play it. It was beautiful, a symphony really. I was in awe. Maybe he isn't a monster..I mean, what kind of monster can play so beautifully?.....I watched his hands as he moved each finger over and over on the strings, I knew he was good with his hands, he proved that last night, but damn. He played for a while, then stopped and stretched his arms out a bit. I clapped, "that was...amazing.." he smiled sheepishly, "well, thank you babycakes, I do try..Well, Tha's just the t'ing ain't it? I don't think I have tried" he exhaled as if he was holding his breath. "You make it look so simple" I said. "Trust me, it gets a lot easier with four arms" he chuckled and I giggled, then he got back in a playing position and started a new song. This one was very different, the first song gave off a heroic vibe, the kind you might here in the background of an action movie as the hero reminiscences on the "what if's". This one was more sharp, as if the violin was crying, this was the song for the villain, the one that plays while the villain goes on a monologue about how long it took to get them were they are, and they won't give that up, not now. He chuckled as he watched me watch him, he played with ease, I was astounded. Then without a second thought, I asked a stupid stupid question..."Do you love me?". A sour note pulled at the strings as he came to an abrupt stop. It startled me as I realized what I had just asked, a million thoughts raced through my brain as he spoke. "What. Did you just fuckin say.?" He was mad, I think..."Do I..'love' you?." He repeated my question back to me, that's when I realized how fucking dumb I sounded...he chuckled, the kind I had heard him do with angel when he was about to blow up. "Oh..no no no no, babycakes. I do not go that way with my Wh-...workers. You see, I can't..'love'." He sat the violin down on the desk in the corner of the room and poured himself a drink. I teared up, I was so pissed at myself. "The reason I'm not as..cruel..to you as I am to angel, or..Vox, maybe...." He trailed off and stared at the glass, before finishing his sentence, "...Is because they remind me too much of myself...the way I was, the way I is, I..." he trailed again as the rain outside picked up, a storm was coming.."You're different. You're still my worker, don't get me wrong, and I do NOT..love you. I don't." I stared and whispered "mhm..". He took a swig of what I assumed was whiskey, and hastily said "what? You assume just cause you is in my bed, you woke up next to me, you somehow think that means we're a Fuckin item?! NO. No no no, that ain't the way it works babycakes, you are my worker. And we had fun last night, in more ways than one, yes. Free of charge, on both counts....Alright?." He didn't look at me through the whole tangent, just stared at the glass. "Then why did you do it?...Why take me out if—" he cut me off "I did it so you would feel a little bit less shitty about what happened to you the night before. So let's get that fuckin straightened out for a start." Tears were falling at this point. I didn't want to cry. I don't care if he loves me or not!.....yes I do....."but as I said...Vox, Angel, all of em, they remind me in someway......of...." He slammed the glass down and it shattered, I jumped, he closed his eyes still refusing to meet my gaze, "why THE FUCK did you have to ruin it?! Hm?. Baby, I took you out for a nice meal, we had some fun last night and we woke up toge-A-Aitn that enough for you?! Why the FUCK did you just ruin it?! Why the hell did you have to go all weird on me? It-..it...it's not fair." His voice was breaking a little, and there was a slight tremble under the rasp. "Val I'm.." "ya know what..get the fuck out. I don't wanna see you no more right now." I pulled the duvet on the bed closer to me, "Val, please I'm sorry I wasn—" "Go. Away." I didn't move. Even if I wanted to run in that moment, I couldn't move. He just stood there. "Hm...fine...you think, that your som'n special? Hm?" I stared at the floor. Red rug, black floorboard underneath..."you think that you're.....Whateva the fuck you think you are? Well you're not. Alright?. Whatever the fuck you think about yourself right now, whether you's thinkin ya the worst thing that ever happened to you, that I'm the worst thing that ever happened to you, well you're dead wrong." His voice was calm, angry, but calm. The most threatening kind of anger is the still kind..."because it can always get worse.." he said, in that demonic tone, I was terrified, I still couldn't move. His voice went back to normal as he continued, "down here, das somethin I learned on day one." That's when I lost it, whatever little bit of pride I had, "THEN WHY THE FUCK DID YOU STOP WHEN YOU SAW ME ON THE CURB?! IF IM SO FUCKING WORTHLESS TO YOU....why did you stop?...". I covered my mouth. I've seen angel yell at val, it's never pretty. But he didn't move. He just stared at me. "Well...Tha's a fair point. The reason I stopped, when I saw you on dat curb, was in that particular moment..heh....that was how I was. You see when I first came down here, that's the exact position I was in. Sittin on the curb like a sack of poorly-packaged horseshit." He shook his head. "I thought I don't remind you of yourself..." I hugged my knees, and stared at him. "I guess ya right...in that regard, you did remind me of myself. Maybe I should be a bit more cruel to you. Hm?" He looked over at me and I quickly shook my head. I've seen what he's capable of. Seen his dancers, or Vox, after a fight with him. I sniffled and shuffled a bit, he smiled a little. That's what he liked, to see you afraid of his every move. To watch you flinch when he raised a hand or yelled, to see you jump when he broke something, or when someone else did, to watch you fear him. It was like a drug for him. "I didn't think so....listen babycakes, this...*sigh* this can't happen again. You've made it clear that you have..eh...some weird Stockholm syndrome, sadist, shit for me. I don't...I don't fe....I don't feel the same way, aight? Now stop askin me...alright." I nodded. I wasn't satisfied with just this though.."You stuttered....you hesitated, that means you're lying.....ya must have some feelings for me otherwise—" "babycakes you are really startin to piss me off. I am a business. Owner. Tha's the way it is, Tha's the way it's always gonna fuckin be. And I-" suddenly there was a knock at the door, I flinched, he groaned and sighed. "WHO THE FUCK IS IT?!" He yelled. A guards voice came through the door, talking something about opening the club soon. I let it go through one ear and out the other. My head was spinning. Val responded, I still wasn't listening. He rambled on about not having the time to deal with me, the only part I made out was: "so...if you would, kindly, get out. Get yaself ready for today, I'll be down shortly...." I nodded and got out of bed, wiping my eyes and grabbing my clothes "yes v-..sir....yes sir.." I got dressed and quickly left the room. Fuck. I'm so fucking stupid. I walked to my dressing room and slammed the door, then sat on the floor and sobbed in the dark. Maybe he....is a monster..