Trying To Maintain

T W E N T Y - E I G H T

Drill

It's so weird being in the free world after a long sixteen years. I've been out a total of two months, and I'm still not really used to it. I basically grew up in the pen, and some of the learned behaviors in there are way different than out here.

Like food. My first day out, pops tried asking me what my favorite restaurant was. I couldn't give him an honest answer because the last restaurant food I can remember eating is a  number one from McDonald's. Then he tried asking what my favorite food was; same response.

His whole purpose of doing so was to treat me to a welcome home dinner/celebration. At first it got a little emotional. Even though he didn't shed any tears, they did well up in his eyes. I can understand why. I couldn't imagine my child having to spend so much time in a place like that, that something as simple as eating out becomes a task.

Speaking of my child, Geneva and I have come up with a coparenting plan. Since she works a rolling 21 day schedule, I get Timia Friday through Sunday every other week. Sometimes more if my dad is willing to drive up here while he has her.

It took a little minute getting used to it, but once I did it was pretty easy. It feels natural. Dealing with Geneva at first was a lot to deal with. I have no one to blame but myself though. She wanted us to be together of course. She hounded me my first month out about why I wanted to move to Louisiana.

Then she brought up all the simp shit I said when I was locked up. I had to tell her straight up that it was that jail house talk. You know, the sweet shit you say that sound real good. The "I'm going to" statements. Half of that shit that's said is not what happens after release.

It's easy to sit up and say all the shit you going to do while out. You have nothing but time to reflect and plan. But getting out and being around people and loved ones, you can slip into old or new habits. You become easily distracted.

I'm proud to say that I all the positive shit I set out to do while I was locked up is coming to fruition. I have a job that pays good and I enjoy. I'm saving up all my bread to get my own place to stay. Granny is cool and I love her, but I'm not tryna stay here forever.

I break her off with a few hundred every pay period, even thought she says I don't have to. I just wouldn't feel right not doing shit for the house and I'm staying here. She even loves when I bring Timia over here, and babysits for me when I get called in for overtime.

I should be able to move out by next month. I want to rent a house instead of an apartment, so I got to make sure my bread is straight. Pops said he'd get me furniture and shit, so I'm not really tripping on that. I ride to and from work with Uncle Ced, so I don't have a car either. But I give him gas money every week.

Pops said he'd help me with that too, but I'm not trying to overwhelm him by spending all of his money. I don't even know how he can afford a lot of the shit he got and be buying us. I ain't ever heard of anybody retiring the military having bread like that. But, his wife got money too, so I guess I shouldn't really be too surprised.

I just want to do as much for myself as I possibly can. I make bread where I'm at, so it ain't too bad.

I'm just glad today is my Friday. My work schedule is six am to six pm Monday to Thursday. I hop in the car with Uncle Ced, glad he works the same schedule so I won't have to wait for him and vice versa.

"Wazzam, Oonie?" He speaks once I'm situated.

"Ready to be off," I laugh a little bit. "How work go for you today, Uncle Ced?"

"Shit, I been doing this shit longer than you been alive. Ain't too much this place can do that'll surprise me." She shrugs his shoulders.

"I see why. They generous with the pay. Pockets getting fat on me." We laugh again.