The Sundrop & The Moondrop

- Chapter 31, Am I Not Good Enough? -

- Sundrop's perspective -

Everything's been going fine lately, it's almost too perfect.. it's as if another tragedy is about to surface. I don't like this feeling of oncoming dread yet I seem to be the only one who feels it, who knows it's coming for us. This dread is unlike anything I've ever felt, it's strange yet... familiar? I don't know, MoonStar's better at understanding these kinds of things anyways. Speaking of MoonStar, I was watching him clean up the daycare. He was going around picking up broken crayons, papers left laying around and he was even organising the tiniest of things like the dust on the floor.. there was no dust in sight.

I'd been sent up to our stage platform for the day because I bugged out a tiny bit earlier, we don't know why it happened yet but I'm going to parts and services later so hopefully we'll know then. There's not much to do up here.. I was now drifting off into my own world of thought maybe I could go down there?.. no, he'd just tell me to come back up here where it's boring! I don't like it!  MoonStar was still busy cleaning up and organising things as I continued to think. What if I cleaned up a little bit in here? no, it's not interesting enough and besides.. barely anyone else visits it so it's not worth cleaning.. it seemed as if there was nothing else to do, nothing left for me to do but think and watch. I felt useless like a broken game, as if there's nothing left for me here.. then, the thought crossed my mind during that moment of uselessness. Am I-.. am I not good enough?...  I also seemed to have said it out loud as MoonStar was now looking up at me confused, he yelled up at me "..Did you say something Sunny?" I shook my head and he continued cleaning what little there was left to clean.

I went into my room through the velvety red curtain that concealed it from the children's view. Then I grabbed one of the chairs in the room that wasn't broken yet and sat down on it, during my time sitting down I continued to think about that thought. Why did I think that? of course I'm  good enough!.. aren't I? I mean, I-... nevermind.. during that time I spent thinking MoonStar had entered the room and was tapping my shoulder. "Uhh... earth to Sundrop?" he said as he continuously tapped my shoulder, I placed my hand onto his to make him stop "I'm fine, what do you need?.." he took a chair and sat down beside me and began to speak "Sundrop.. I know that look, you're not fine.. tell me what's wrong..." The way he was looking into my eyes was a bit calming, it made me feel safe. "N-no I'm fine, really.. I am.." I said but the words were more directed at myself instead of him, it was like I was trying to convince myself that I was fine instead of convincing MoonStar.

"Sunny, tell me the truth.. please, you know how much I hate to see you like this..." he was holding one of my hands now as he patiently waited for a response. I began speaking but then he soon interrupted me "I just thought I-.. maybe that I'm-" "..You think you're not good enough, don't you?" ..How did he know?  I thought, my expression seemed to tell him everything as he did not need me to speak again to explain anything. He smiled at me reassuringly and said "Sundrop, you are good enough.. and even if some people don't care, I do! so please.. don't go thinking that you're not worth anything, you're worth everything to me and the children in the daycare.."

I smiled at him then said "..Moony? thanks, I really needed that.." after I finished speaking I hugged him, he also gave me a hug and the moment of uselessness drifted away from my thought I am worth something..

- Chapter 31 End -