Burning Hearts [1]

Face to Face

Lillian looked up from her hands to see Lip's bright blue eyes staring into hers. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe. She didn't feel judged, for the actions of her father or for how her mother passed. He looked at her as if she was a person. 

"My brothers Mason and Jackson went to go live with my mom's mother, and I went to live with my dad's mom. My mom's mother didn't like me that much but had complete adoration for my brothers. So living with her wasn't an available option, not for a long period that is, she would shoot up on whatever she could find, but since she was well set off getting her hands on those things found her pretty well, kicking me out of the house. I was 9 years old always sleeping on the couches my friends' parents could offer, that's when I met Zach, he was a lot older than me, thirteen at the time I met him I believe, we became inseparable, but he was always smoking weed, so one day I tried it, I was only 9, to this day I haven't stopped. Eventually, Zach's and I's friendship changed from being friends to puppy love, we had sex on my 11th birthday. I never wanted to have sex that night, I remember telling him to stop, but he wouldn't. I never saw him again after that day, never really want to," Lillian struggled with that last part, she never said those words to someone before, not even her grandmother, definitely not her, she couldn't break her heart like that. So she did what anyone else would do, she said quietly about it. "When I turned thirteen, I had a new life, I was finally able to move in with my grandmother, I came down from the Northside, I always loved to visit the Southside when I visited my grandmother, not in the way you think Lip. But because, everyone is able to be who they fucking want when they want to fucking be it, and I know it's rough for Ian but, it's not any better in the high life either. So coming down here was a breath of fresh air, and I finally could relax. That's when I met you..." Lillian looked sheepishly at Lip who just stared at the girl. 

Lip couldn't believe what he was hearing, this beautiful girl that was in front of him, faced almost as many battles as he face. Even though they were from complete different places. He was proud of her. Lip always had a fascination with knowing about what made a person who they were. That's why he loved people watching, that was his favorite thing whenever he rode the city bus or the L, watching people interact with their surroundings and other people around them. So when Lillian first told Lip she didn't want to talk about her past with someone she barely knew, roughly 6 months before this conversation arose. But now they were here, sitting face to face, passing back and forth a joint. 

The silence in the room rose, and the tension in the air was dense as the teens began moving closer to each other faces, they could feel each other breath on their skin. Lip looked as if he was going to devour the girl. But Lillian realized how close they were and pulled back. 

'Uh, sorry." Lillian tucked her hair behind her ear and turned to face away from Lip. 

"I, it's, uh alright." Lip was sad about it but understood that it wouldn't have been alright, especially if Lip wanted to be with Karen, which he thought he did.

"I, uh, I'm gonna go, have a goodnight Lip. See you tomorrow, maybe." Lillian stood up and walked out of the boy's shared room, and out of the house. 

She didn't know what was wrong with her. Why did she let him get so close to her? She was happy that she pulled away. He was her best friend, nothing more, nothing less. Something in her, hidden, she wished there was something more. 

.. 

Lillian woke up in her bed the next morning, hearing a rock being thrown at her window she followed the noise. Looking down she saw Lip, the girl smiled to herself. She made her way down the stairs to open the door for the curly-headed boy. Once she saw him, something in her body wanted to get that close to him, but as soon as Karen rounded the corner, those thoughts vanished. Karen obviously did not like Lillian, the feelings between the girls were mutual, Lillian thought Karen didn't deserve Lip's loyalty. Even after what happened yesterday, Lip was loyal to anyone he let in his life, and he let her into his life after a nasty blow job tutor session. But Lillian was happy for him, no matter what, even if that included having to play nice with Karen's bitchy attitude. 

"What's up Lip?" Lillian asked as politely as she could since she woke up a few minutes prior, she leaned against the door frame with her arms crossed. 

This is the girl that Lip liked seeing the most, sleepy Lillian was his favorite, the way that her hair was a mess, and the way that she had a soft look to her. He always liked seeing Lillian this way, sleepy-eyed, bad breath and all. Plus she never wore a bra to bed, so seeing her always pleased his head, either of them. 

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with Karen and me." Lip looked over to Karen who rolled her eyes. Truth be told Karen could be careless about Lillian and Lip's relationship, shit she sometimes didn't even care about Lip and her own, she had multiple 'tutors'.  Lip was her favorite tutor though, she made it known not just to the Gallagher family, but to the school that he was her favorite. Karen started hanging out with Lip because he kept fucking her. So she started acting as if she were Lips' girlfriend, making Lip spend less and less time with Lillian and more time in between her legs. 

"I'm good for right now, but are we on for tonight."