Light My Way Back Home •Patrick Stump+Fall Out Boy•

Chapter Twenty: We're In The Fight of Our Lives And We're Not Ready To Die

||Cole Wentz|| First Person||

"Andy," I say quietly, my voice low and trembling tremendously as the last bits of sass and confidence finally drain from me. Must've been the adrenaline. A massive headache begins pulsing behind my eyes, so I close them and focus on speaking to Andy. No thinking. "I'm in a lot of trouble." I wait for him to scold me for misbehaving or lecture me over the phone, but none of that comes. Yet. No thinking, Cole.

No thinking. No thinking because I'm an idiot, and the thoughts that form behind my forehead only give way to the never ending tragedy which people like to call my life. No thinking because I have this stupid tendency to overthink everything and screw up my life in the process. No thinking because it makes everything worse.

"Where?" His candy cane laced voice asks, and my heart rate decreases just the slightest bit from hearing him speak as calmly as possible to me. That feeling diminishes the moment he speaks again. "God, Patrick's drunk on the floor and you're missing- Cole, where are you?" The words spewing through my receiver makes me think against my will. The bark of the old tree I'm sitting in is digging into my spine through my jacket, but the pain isn't there.

"In a tree," I say.

"What the hell are you doing in a tree?" Andy says, and I can vaguely hear the sound of wind rushing through his speakers as he probably steps out of my house, if he found Patrick drunk on the floor.

"Derek," I reply, and the noise he makes is the fine line between a sigh and a grunt of disapproval. "Didn't you see my note?"

"Where?" He ignores me. I figure that I should give him actual directions.

"The ravine by my old high school," I tell him, and I hear him slam his car door and the spurt of his engine coming to life.

"What the actual hell were you doing with Derek?" Andy is criticizing me like my mother probably would. I shake my head and add on to the the fabulous pain bursting behind my eyes.

"Just hurry up, please." I say, my teeth chattering.

"Fine," Andy says, and I imagine Mother Hurley speeding up drastically. "One day, I'm just going to have to put a collar with bells on you so you won't be able to get away with stupid stuff."

"Oh really?" I groan in pain, tilting my head up to the night sky.

"Yeah, and while I'm at it, a leash, too." He continues.

"That isn't very humane, Mr. Vegan." I say.

"Letting you go off to get yourself killed isn't either." He retorts sharply, and I have enough sense to stop speaking because Andy is pissed enough as it. "Pete's with me. He looks ready to murder you himself." I stay quiet and just focus on breathing. "God, Cole, what were you-"

"I was thinking that I wanted to save Hayley and Maya's life, okay?" I blurt out.

"By doing what, getting yourself killed?" Pete screams, and it occurs to me that Andy put his phone on speaker so he can have both hands on the wheel. Model citizen he is. "Because you won't be able to protect anybody when you're dead, Cole."

"But what's the point if I can't save anybody when I'm alive?" I shoot back at Pete, and I'm kind of glad that he isn't in front of me having this conversation because his expression will make me feel even more guilty than I already am. "Because Pete, I'm trying to do what's right."

"So you think meeting Derek in an isolated ravine is helping people?" Pete asks. I hear Andy kill the engine. "You think he actually was going to make a deal with you?"