monster 》l.s

0.2

01.23.2014

dear journal,

i guess since this is my first entry, i should start off by giving this journal a name. i was thinking along the lines of jacob, or lionel, but i think i'm going with faith. i have faith in my relationship right now.

so now that you're named, faith. i should introduce myself. my name is harry, i'm nineteen from cheshire, and i'm studying to be a baker. i live with my two cats, whiskers and pudding, and my boyfriend, louis.

we've been dating for almost a year, and so far, it's been rough. i love louis, he loves me, but louis has some issues. it's nothing i did, or what he did, but what his parents did. they beat him, abused him in other words until he was hospitalized, twice. they were both alcoholics, both obsessed with drugs, louis devoted himself to never being like his parents, and he has lived up to the promise.

but you can't just brush away your past like it was nothing. it left him with permanent damage, inside and out. his main problem, is his bipolarism, if that's a word.. he has mood swings that can hurt me, and himself. he's harsh one second, than nice the other second.

i don't want to get into anymore, it upsets me that louis is so broken, so tired, and so done with everything. i hate that i can't hold louis without him pushing me away. i hate that i can't tell louis that he means the world to me without him yelling at me because he doesn't feel the same.

i love him.

love, always.
harry.