BTS Hurtfics

Cystic Fibrosis (Seokjin)(pt 2)

It's been two and a half weeks since I finally got over that cold. It took every ounce of strength I had stored. I'm only growing weaker and my lungs are getting worse. The doctors and nurses keep trying to fill my head with false hope but I don't see the point. I've been bed bound the last week. I can't even get up to go pee which meant having a catheter in. I haven't been seeing my boys recently either... Suga finally got released from the hospital yesterday so he stopped by before leaving, Tae has been busy with getting ready for surgery because the cancer in his lung is finally at a point where they can remove it. As for the others they have been busy with their stuff too. I haven't seen my brother since the incident and quite frankly I don't want to see him. I mean honestly he chose a girl over his own fucking brother who was quite literally DYING in the hospital. Who would do such a thing.

"Kim Seokjin? I'm here to administer your medicine." The nurse says as I look to her nodding slightly. Recently everyone has been wearing full PPE (personal protective equipment) when coming into the room which only tells me they know I'm getting worse. "Taehyung wanted me to let you know that his surgery went well and they were able to remove most of the cancer." The nurse says checking my vitals before administering my medication. "That's great to hear... how are the others...?" I ask my voice hoarse. Her smile drops as she looks at me with worry. It takes her a second before she speaks her tone a bit colder than before but a hint of sorrow in it. "Namjoon... he will be getting transferred to a different place." The nurse says finishing administrating the medication. I nod slightly knowing that means he's going into hospice. The down side about making friends with people who are also sick means you never know which end of the stick you're getting. It's either they outlive you or you outlive them. It's the harsh reality with life and with the way things are looking for me I'm going to be the next one. The nurse sits with me for a few more minutes as I try to process the information I was just told. One of my best friends just got a second chance at life while the other pretty much just lost his. Meanwhile I lay here in the unknown.

The rest of the day goes on. Nurses coming in and out with medications and procedures I have to do. Same shit different day however it is still weighing deeply on my mind about Namjoon. Tears begin to fill my eyes just thinking about it. I would give up the world to save my best friends but yet I feel so little and so useless. I always told them I'd be their older Hyung and I would care for them when I can and it feels like I just let them down.

The next morning I wake up seeing Namjoon sitting next to me in a wheel chair. His skin is pale and almost lifeless, his eyes are dull with no light. "Hyung... you awake...?" He asks his voice strained. I open my eyes nodding. "I wanted to see you.... Before I had to go...." He says tearing up. I've never seen Namjoon cry. He was always the strongest one of us all. Always telling us to never fear death and look it right in the eyes. "Hyung.... I know I'm going to die.... I.... I wanted to tell you I love you.... You were the closest thing to a family that I have ever had.... And no matter what happens I want you to know I will forever be watching over you and the rest of the boys...." He says with tears streaming down his face. Tears begin to fall down my face as well. "Namjoon.... I love you too brother..." I say choking out a sob. Goodbyes are hard and even harder when it's the ones you love the most.

After our visit was up Namjoon went back to his room. I was told he wouldn't be transferred to another facility until tonight so he would be here for a couple more hours. I still couldn't get over the fact of everything happening.

A few hours later I hear people on the hallways rushing around. Ears perk up slightly. "What's going on....?" I ask as a nurse comes into the room. "We found you a match!" The nurse says breathlessly. My eyes widen. "W-what do you mean....?" I ask again a bit shocked from the sudden news. "A donor just passed away and their lungs are a perfect match for you." She says slowly as she walks over to me. My eyes widen as I shake my head slowly. "N-no.... I don't want them.... Give them to someone else. Like Namjoon....." I say my eyes still as wide as a deer in headlights. The nurses face turns into one of confusion and shock. "Jin.... You've been on the lis-" I cut her off before she could continue. "I don't care about a stupid list! My best friend is dying!" I shout which forces me into a coughing fit. The nurse's face turns to one of sympathy as she comes over helping through the coughing fit. "Namjoon already denied the lungs..." she said a hint of sadness in her voice. "You were the second on the list and another perfect match for the lungs...." The nurses words cut deep like a scalpel slicing through every layer of my heart. Namjoon w-what?! "H-he what..." I say in utter disbelief and shock. The nurse lowers her head. "Jin we have a short window we are working with... don't let the lungs go to waste..." She says giving me a sympathetic look. I bite my lip before agreeing. "Fine."

With that I got my new lungs.... But at what cost.... Somebody I didn't know lost a life for me.... Somebody I love dearly lost their life for me.... And here I stand three months later under an umbrella dressed in my finest black attire surrounded by Suga, Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin and Hobi as we all pay our respects to Namjoon. A friend, a brother. One we will forever miss and every breath I take is a breath for him.

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The End....