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"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK." I desperately grip my hair, lightly tugging on it whilst I reread the newspaper in front of me. "This is a fucking nightmare." I mutter to myself before going quiet at the sound of someone clearing their throat beside me.
"Excuse me, could I have it back?" I glance from the paper to the old man beside me who's sticking out his hand, waiting for me to hand the newspaper back to him as I loaned it.
"Yeah, sorry." The newspaper swiftly go from my hand to his. "Thanks..." The old man look at me with furrowed eyebrows. "...for lending me it." He nods his head with a small smile before diverting his attention to the newspaper that I held just a few seconds ago.
As I see the male's attention has returned to the newspaper I swiftly and hastily get up from the park bench before walking away in the direction of my apartment that's located in the Old Town.
Once I arrive outside the front door of the apartment building I type in the code that opens the door. When I see the small light at the bottom of the keypad go green, I step inside the building before making my way up the multiple stairs as the elevator is already occupied by an old couple.
The second I get face to face with my front door I rush inside, kick my shoes off and throw my jacket on the floor before running into my bedroom.
As I open the door I'm met with the sight of the completely wrecked room that's completely different from how it would of looked if I lived here seven month ago. All from the clothes scattered around the floor, the left overs that's stacked on top of each other and the empty bottles laying around the room is the complete opposite to the well tidied room I would of had last year. It didn't just change over night, it was a long process with different emotions and thoughts that clouded my head and landed me here.
Even though the room looks like a bomb has exploded, I can still see easily spot the object I'm searching for. It's lying on my desk which makes it easy for me to reach out, grab it, and then run out of the room and into the living room where I take a seat on the couch.
The second my back hit the backrest of the comforter I open the computer and type in my password. I swiftly type on the keys and in just a matter of seconds the same article I read on the newspaper in the park is in front of me again. As I can reread the article how many times I want and much more thoroughly, I feel my nerves increasing instead of decreasing which is what I wished for. Me having all the time in the world to look it over means that everyone in the world have the same opportunity. And the realization makes the exact opposite, but calm me down.
It's honestly a nightmare going to life whilst my mind goes in one hundred miles per hour due to it overworking itself with what people should call overthinking. But no, it's only just a reality check.
