The Love of a Crow - Wesper/Crows Fanfiction/AU

36. Kaz

A/N: Heyyy people! As with everything else in my life I am late to whatever wacky posting days I have, so as payment here's an extra long chapter! Also, quick reminder that any flashbacks or memories will probably not be accurate to the books, but none of this story is, so I think it should be fine. Enjoy! :)

  When arriving back, Kaz found the Crow Club already littered with early morning betters and sellers, along with curious tourists arriving from the docks that had wandered too far into the Barrel. Yet, the place felt... empty.

Slowly he made his way to his office, ignoring everyone and everything, before finally settling onto his chair, breathing in the deep scent of factory fog and cheap breakfast rolls that flowed through the morning air from his window. Kaz took off his gloves and ran his fingers through his hair. All he wanted to do was wander to his bed and collapse, letting the night's events wash away. The one thing sleep was good for; escaping life.

"Inej," he said softly to the girl he knew to be standing behind him. "Please refrain from lecturing me as well. I think I've been beaten enough times today."

Inej walked quietly to the window, not hopping up to sit like she usually did, but instead letting her fingers graze the sill. He watched them caress the painted wood, and, strangely, found it difficult to bear that he would never be able to touch those fingers.

"The Kaz Brekker I know wouldn't have given him up. The Kaz Brekker I know would have a plan by now. The Kaz Brekker I know wouldn't lay down like a wounded dog and whimper."

Kaz was stunned. Her words hurt, but they were true. He was just giving up. But to hear it from his Wraith's mouth?

"So tell me..." she whispered, finally meeting his gaze. "If I am not talking to Dirtyhands, who am I talking to now?"

"I don't... I don't know."

Suddenly Inej was in front of him, so close he could see the bright gold flecks of her eyes that he had never seemed to observe before. Kaz watched warily as she took the cuff of her right sleeve and slid it so it fully covered her hand. Then, gently, she brought that hand to his bare one, folding his fingers into her palm, looking positive he would pull away. But Kaz couldn't. He was frozen, the feeling of the soft cloth and the warmth of her palm underneath mesmerising him. When was the last time he had felt like this? So wild, so free, yet terrified at the same time that the sick feeling in his stomach would overpower him?

"Kaz, this is the side of you that I will live for and die for. This is the side of you that will reach my heart. But right now I need the Bastard of the Barrel."

Kaz. Holding someone else's hand. The Bastard of the Barrel. Just waiting to be called upon again. He knew which one he had to choose now, and if Inej asked for it, he would do whatever it took to give it to her. Curse the moment he had become sentimental.

"Well then, Wraith," Kaz said casually, pressing against her hand before pulling away to put on his gloves. "I am your servant."

"Jesper's going after him."

Kaz groaned. "Of course he is."

"Will you help him?"

"Of course not! Van Eck has made it perfectly clear where he stands, and Jesper would be an idiot to go after Wylan now."

"People do idiotic things when they're in love." Inej said firmly. Kaz stayed silent.

"Look, Kaz, as much as you hate to admit it, you need Jesper, and he needs you. I remember a time where you were the only thing he had, and the same goes for you. You conquered the Barrel, and he never left your side once. You'd be the worst bos- the worst friend ever if you abandoned him now, because I know he would come after you in a heartbeat."