three rooms | nathan gardner

V

Warnings: intrusive thoughts, swear words
Word count: 1000

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The sea. The waves. Their soothing sound.

They all echoed in my mind as I was punching the punching bag with untameable rage. I recall that it was 5 AM and the gym was empty, maybe closed. Still, I didn’t give a single fuck. I needed that rage, that violent desire to beat the shit out of something.

But my thoughts were drowning in evanescent images which pictured the sea and the roaring waves. Why? Was that a sort of lost memory? 

I heard laughter. I stopped punching. The gym was still empty, yet I was bloody sure of what I heard seconds ago. 

Was I going slightly mad? 

Oh hell yeah.

That laughter seemed happy and full of joy. It made me feel warmer on the inside, I felt at ease for an instant, a fleeting moment. 

I tried to hold onto that image as long as I could’ve: it was a woman. 

There was no doubt. 

I made the huge mistake of looking myself in the mirror, realising how tired I looked and most certainly crazy as fuck. I started having a staring contest with my reflection until I snapped, no mental chains holding me down. I poured every unknown painful thought that stung my brain in my fists, fastening my rhythm as the sound of the waves slowly faded away.

My arms hurt so bad I felt them on the verge of falling to the ground, that was my sign to stop and go change.

I had taken shelter in the gym to numb the heaviness of the past days in a healthier way instead of using my morphine without second thoughts. I was trying to do better. Be better than an obsessed addict. 

Still, boxing didn’t stand a chance against that sweet liquid for it was way more efficient and quick. But that shit wasn’t good for me. I was aware of that. 

Arsenio didn’t stop persecuting me, I was really struggling to study or concentrate at all, he succeeded in most of the courses and I felt like a fucking donkey. I was pissed off most of the time. Well, every time really. He obviously enjoyed my despair and never missed an opportunity to body shame me or fuel my murderous obsession towards him.

I forced myself to go back to the dorm for a few hours sleep, and planned a nice breakfast with myself at the college cafe that morning. I would’ve skipped a few minutes of Mr. Gardner’s class, but for once I wanted to indulge those whispers coming from the half-open door in the back of my head. They attracted me a lot. Yet I was afraid to go near the door and throw it open, utterly terrified of what it might hide.

And so there I was, sitting at the cafe with my silly little cupcake and an espresso. 

I noticed the waiter walking in my direction with a courtesy smile on his face.

«Your breakfast has been paid for by Professor Gardner».

It was hilarious at this point. Strike me with a fucking lightning omnipotent Zeus.

The waiter disappeared only to let me face that cocky asshole sitting right before my eyes. I lowered my gaze, ashamed of being caught skipping his class. Why did I care so much?

«What a pleasing coincidence Miss Theller», he clicked his tongue on the palate.

I shifted my position to stand up and leave due to a weird heaviness I felt on my chest. Shame had the power to crush my soul without effort.

«Still».

Double fuck. I changed my plan.

«Good. It seems that your previous episode of young disobedience has passed Miss Theller. I was going to forgive you, I really was, but finding you here and not where you are supposed to be…» I held my breath, his veiny hands suddenly on top of mine. Lord help me.

He tightened his grip and took off the gloves I was wearing, revealing my pale skin full of bruises and my knuckles still stained with blood. 

I looked up at him like a frightened fawn, ignoring the fear mixed with lust his touch unleashed in me. His fingers were like tongues of fire on open wounds. 
I muttered an “ouch” and freed myself from his strong grip, clutching my hands to my chest to prevent them from shaking.

«And you spent the whole night boxing.», he scanned me with no emotion whatsoever.

«You will attend my lesson Miss Theller. I believe that what you need right now is learning how your troubled mind works. This is something I’ve never done before for any student and trust me, I had pupils who were much more brilliant and worthy than you are. Consider this my educational help.», he stood up proudly.

When I thought he was finally gone I felt a stinging scent tickle my nostrils. I raised my head and saw him hand me a piece of paper with an address written on it.

«This is where you’ll find my office», uh?!

«Your what?!» I exclaimed.

He smirked. Slyly. As always.

«I forgot to mention the most important thing Miss Theller: they will be private lessons.» He put the piece of paper on my hand, leaving with a cigarette in his mouth and a vintage hat on his head. 

I stared into the void.

This was gonna be rough.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I guess this means more "private" time for them hehe

Little missy here ain't feeling tough no more, but I promise you she IS trouble rn.