three rooms | nathan gardner

X

Warnings: swearing, use of drugs, nudity
Word count: 2420

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«This is where we’ll do our lessons», he guided me to the third floor, opening that curious door I hinted at the past day.

During breakfast he’d never take his eyes off of me as I was struggling to make myself appear as comfortable as possible knowing I did something extremely bad: stealing and disobeying. He would have me killed.

«This house never ceases to amaze me» I whispered, entering a beautiful room.

The walls were painted light pastel blue, books perched on the shelves of a small library and windows that faced the huge backyard where we were drinking last night. Yet the breathtaking detail was a real fresco on the ceiling, probably portraying some ancient gods and little angels carrying flowers.

It looked like a representation of spring.

«Sit there.», he pointed at two chairs placed back to back in the middle of the room.

«Shouldn’t it be a lesson?» I naively asked.

He was staring at my pierced arm I smartly covered with a dark purple shirt and a red velvet top, I thought he could see through the fabric from the deadly look on his face.

But then again, it was his usual look and I’d better stop being afraid of getting caught, otherwise my fear would come true in a matter of seconds.

«According to Freud our mind is a house full of rooms, the main ones are three: the Es, or our logicless unconscious full of contradicting hidden drives and desires we secretly crave for; the Überich, or the moral component of our psyche which bore rules and prohibitions that control our Es and finally the Ich, or our organised persona which conscience tries to manage our existence following social rules and also trying to satisfy our desires. Therefore the mind is always in conflict».

I frowned.

«I- I knew that Professor Gardner», he got dangerously close to me.

«We will sit back to back and have a cathartic session where we’ll try to explore our unconscious, to let it all go. Step by step. As if we’re each other’s psychologist.», his dark stare anchored in my eyes.

«I’m not as experienced as you are Professor Gardner», I started blushing to the realisation of him choosing to open up with me, his unskilled student. Did that mean I was clever enough to him?

He took a deep breath, clenching his jaw as his eyes darkened.

«You are the most complicated experience I’ve ever encountered during my whole career Miss Theller».

I was at a loss of words, completely unable to come up with a proper answer to that sort of confession. I couldn’t stop thinking I was nothing but an experience to him.

And he’s nothing but your educator, remember that.

He was quite stressed about the whole situation, his nostrils flared and his long fingers were slightly shaking. He never did this with anyone, it was clear as daylight.

And so we sat, his hair brushing mine.

At first we didn’t know how to start, the room was dead silent.
Should we just start talking? Or asking questions? How does one do these sessions?

Well, I wanted to be brave for once and let my mind speak earnestly, as if everything that would happen in that room would soundly stay there. All our secrets and confessions.

«Why are you so hard on me?».

There was no coming back.

Surprisingly, he immediately answered.