I just want to say... Hi?

My big mistake

This mistake was like a stab in the heart, if I just kept walking my life right now would be completely diffrent. And I can't imagine what it would be like there are two possibilities I can think of but there must be a million: 1. I'd be way more happier, I would have stopped self harm and my life wouldn't be in danger. 2. I wouldn' be here right now writing this book, I wouldn't be anywhere and I would feel like no one cares. Now let's just get Cary on with the rest of the story.

So I woke up then rub my eyes, suddenly I realising it wasn't just a bad dream what I've done is real, permanent. I sat there for a minute taking it all in, and then I shouted "oh crap it's Monday!, Oh carp crap crap 8 o'clock shit I'm so dead!" I got dressed super fast and I manage to get in 5 minutes before the bell. But the I walked into school I was freakinv out pulling my sleeve down to cover my hand. I was walking past the year 7 office and I was so happy I walked past it. Then I panic turned around and walked in my hands were shaking like crazy, I opens my mouth to say some and nothing came out then I started to stutter. "I... I ummm welll... I'm.... welll ummm scare" Mr.O asked scared of what. So I unwrapped the bloody bandage and told him everything, that was my mistake and I wish I didn't say anything.

Then that was it that was the start at first I was just going down hill, but now it's an earthquake everything was crashing down the ground was crumbling under my feet. Everything was bad my parents found out and about all my teachers were told, so I had nowhere to go were I wasn't interrogated even by my iwn parents. People constantly asking questions if I'm Ok, if anything is wrong, even personal questions like, has it happened again, or what I used, when it happens; why? Then I got counciling with is just something to make me realise there something wrong with me, that I'm not normal that I'm... I'm well a freak.

And then I told my friend they said I was stupid and I've made a huge mistake, then I found out a lot of people have self harmed I practically know everyone who does or did, or thinking about it.
But the only thing I cared about was that even tho all this was going on none of it helped me stop, it made me hurt more also it made me cut worse.