Your Trail of Blood in the Snow

Chapter 4 (Montimer)

In the unfathomable state of the unconsciousness of sleep, Montimer could sense the emptiness in his chest; an emptiness that was there, right in his heart, ready to stay without him being able to do anything, but Montimer thought that if he could do something about it, he must do it. He was willing to do anything no matter what the cost, no matter the consequences.

When he woke up, he realized that he cried during the night because his eyes were burning. The tears were gone, but he still felt them. He could still feel them all day, for they came out of his eyes and crawled down his cheeks, through the fur of his cheeks, incorruptible tokens of the tortuous feeling and, reaching the end of his cheeks, they fell to the bed and disappeared, but another one was already behind and followed the same path as the previous.

He saw that Ronnie and Richie were asleep. He did not want to wake them up, but he had to. They were breathing calmly, in their sleep they were oblivious to the suffering of life, the suffering that he had endured so much and that he was sure he would continue to endure until the end of his days.

He wiped his face with the back of his hands almost desperately and then woke Ronnie up.

"Ron," Montimer said, almost muttering, "I have to go out. I must keep looking for Larry."

Ron was awake. She had been for some time and all night she could hardly sleep because she was having nightmares about Larry. She saw him buried in the snow, cold and almost unconscious and no one could help him. She would wake up suddenly and shaken. She would sit up in bed and then look around wishing Larry was there, standing there watching them sleep, but he wasn't. There was no one standing there. She sobbed.

"I'll take care of Richie," she said with open eyes, still lying down, then she sat up in bed and looked at her father sadly.

Montimer hugged her and told her that he would do everything possible to bring Larry back, that she will see that he will keep his promise. "You don't have to worry, sweetheart, you don't have to worry." Ron returned the hug thinking that those words were not directed at her. Montimer was sitting on the edge of the bed, and then he got up, took the bag he always carried when he went out to get food and headed for the exit.

"I have to go," said Montimer. "Remember not to go out, it's more dangerous outside than before."

Ronnie jumped out of bed and walked over to where her father was standing. This time she just stood there, saying nothing but with her eyes saying everything.

Montimer stepped through the curtain and flew off the balcony, he would return to drop off food for the two children and then go in search of Larry. At that moment Ronnie's heart was crushed.

These actions were repeated for several days. He would arrive, sleep and the next morning he would leave and return the following morning, tired and dented by the weight of memories and despair; the sad face he had before returned. He hardly had the courage to talk to his children or to play, and when they saw him, they would just walk away, avoiding him, because they no longer recognized him.

On one of those many outings Ronnie accompanied him to the door, he was going to fly out as was now the custom and she would just stand silently, watching her father get lost among the trees and the snow rocked by the gusts of wind. But Ronnie said something:

"He's not coming back, is he?" She brought her hands with intertwined fingers to her chest, as if fearing her father's answer.

Montimer stopped, suddenly. That question brought him out of it and an uncontainable anger came over him, a crouching anger that he was holding back along with the sadness of the possible loss.

"Larry will be back," Montimer mumbled.

Ronnie began to sob.

"No... He's not coming back," Ronnie said in a soft, cracked voice. Tears began to flow from her eyes and a memory came to her mind.