𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟-𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟 | ᴇɴ-

𝟔

I spin with the towel on my head, making the others laugh. My arms come over my head in a mock pirouette, earning more praise from the other boys. We are almost done picking up the dishes, so we allow ourselves a little fun.

These mornings in the kitchen after breakfast have become something I look forward too, surprisingly. Here we are away from the eyes and ears of the maidens and I feel myself relax a little. It's not that they are mean or too strict. I don't really know why, but something about them makes me uneasy. I tell myself it's all in my head since the other guys appear at ease with them.

"Where did you learn to dance?" an orphan boy asks me.

We are four boys here. Jake-hyung, Jungwon-hyung, the orphan, and me. The cook has left to pick up some food in a nearby town.

"Uh, well, it's been mostly on my own," I say sheepishly. "And I got some classes when I was younger."

"You're really good!" he exclaims and Jungwon-hyung pats my shoulder proudly. I boast in the attention.

"He really is," a new voice says from the door to the kitchens.

We turn to see the Mistress standing in the doorframe, watching us.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted. I heard laughs and wanted to see what the fun was about. Do carry on."

I feel embarrassed to dance in front of her, so instead I bow and mutter a quick apology before going back to my duties. The others continue in a light chatter and she joins them. My hyungs look comfortable talking with the other boy and the Mistress. Sometimes I'm jealous of Jake-hyung's ease at making new friends. Out of the seven of us, he has adapted the best and can easily carry a conversation with the maids and other boys.

I wish Sunghoon-hyung were here so I could tell him all this, but he is busy in the infirmary. And Sunoo-hyung is somewhere else in the house, maybe still locked up in our room. So I have to endure this on my own. Not that I don't like hanging out with Jake-hyung and the others, but he seems to be doing great in other people's company. Jungwon-hyung looks at me as if he knows what I'm thinking and I turn away, feeling his gaze on my back. I don't really feel like talking to him.

Some time later, when we're done, the seven of us get together in the living room. We've been meeting here every day after our duties and hanging out like we used to in the castle. It's pleasant and erases all negative feelings I had earlier, though I still feel Jungwon-hyung looking after me. I find Sunghoon-hyung sprawled on the couch with his arm over his head and purposely jump on top of him.

"Hello, hyung!"

"Ugh, you little..."

"You know you you love me."

"Ugh."

We sit up more properly as Jay-hyung begins his toneless concert in the piano. I must admit that it sounds slightly better than before.

"How was the infirmary?" I ask him, grateful for the sound that mutes our conversation.

"It was fine, how about you?"

"Um, could've been better."

He turns to me then, giving me his full attention.

"It was fine, really," I start. "We were fooling around. I danced a little. But then the Mistress came."

"You don't like her?"

"I don't know. I have a weird feeling about her."

He hums as he thinks it over. "She seems pleasant enough. I mean, we don't see her very often, but..."

"She somehow always seems to be there?" I offer.

He doesn't answer and I pay attention to his expression. That's how I notice the hollow of his eyes. His skin looks even paler than usual too. And he looks... tired.

"Did you talk to the nurse about your vomiting?"

I see him tense at my question.

"Yes," he answers.

"And?"

"And she gave me pills. And I threw them up too."

He avoids my eyes as he tells me everything and I frown.

"Does that... what does that mean?" I ask him.

"I don't know."

I feel the familiar fear settle in my stomach. I thought we had gotten past the worst of this. I thought this meant a new beginning and a cure for us. I thought we were meant to heal.

If he can't stomach anything. He's going to starve. He needs to eat something. His face already looks skinnier as it is and if the pills don't work, then nothing can. What does that mean? Heeseung-hyung healed. Why can't he? What is the difference between them?

"You look like you're about to cry."

We look up to see Sunoo-hyung standing in front of us. He's looking at me and glances at the space between Sunghoon-hyung and me.

He frowns asking with his eyes, what happened?

I can't bring myself to answer.