𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟-𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟 | ᴇɴ-

𝟏𝟎

As winter arrives, some of the boys are sent out to collect firewood. I volunteer since I could use some fresh air. We go around the woods surrounding the house, a couple of boys and a nurse. The maid watches after us, making sure we don't stray too far into the trees. We fool around a little and play with sticks, running between the trees.

"Come on, boys, we need firewood before supper!" the nurse calls after us.

We laugh as we get farther away. Being with these other boys has been a different experience. I've spent most of my life with my six brothers that hanging out with someone else feels strange and new, but not as horrible as I might've thought. It helps keep my mind off of things.

"Race you to that tree!" someone yells.

"You don't have a chance," I answer as we sprint towards the mentioned tree.

"Keep dreaming!"

I end up coming in second place, with one boy before me and two behind.

"How about we play a game?" the nurse asks. "Whoever gets the most firewood wins and I'll tell the cook to make you something sweet."

"Yes!"

"I want chocolate cake!"

"Only if you win," the nurse remind us.

Everyone splits to collect twigs and branches from the forest floor. I turn right and walk into a thick part of the woods that looks specially dry. Surely I'll find more fallen branches here. As I look at the forest floor, I realise I'm right. In under five minutes, my arms are carrying seven pieces each. After that, it doesn't take long for exhaustion to sink in.

I rest beside a tree and try to catch my breath, which has become slightly ragged. This has been happening a lot lately. I get too tired too fast. Sweat breaks through my body and I close my eyes against the pounding in my head. It usually just lasts a couple of seconds, so I put up with it until it inevitably goes away.

This is what the fever does. At least from what I could gather from the others' experience. I never really got to the worst of it because we ran away and so the curse remained at bay. But now that we've settled again, I can feel it consuming me. It comes at random times of the day. Mostly at night, though. My pillow tends to wake up damp with sweat and sometimes tremors shake my body.

I told Heeseung-hyung some days ago, but he had no comfort to offer.

"Maybe that's just how it works," he said. We were sitting down under a shade in the courtyard, watching the others play. "It comes and goes temporarily, like with Sunghoon. But we all got better. We just need to overcome the symptoms when they come."

"I hadn't gotten sick before though. It's my first time getting the fever, and I don't think it's a coincidence I'm getting it now."

"Don't call it that."

"Call it what?"

"The fever. It's just a fever."

"Do you really think that, hyung?"

"Yes," he answered, but I wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.

There was some silence after that. Jake-hyung and Niki were participating in a game of tag with some other boys. Sunghoon-hyung was in the infirmary for his duties and Jay-hyung was still playing the piano inside. His music reached us through the living room window that looked into the courtyard. Sunno-hyung was sitting under a tree watching the game since he had refused to participate. At least he agreed to go outside.

"You said the fever comes and goes," I said then. "Does that mean you're also feeling sick?"

Heeseung-hyung tensed. "It's just a headache."

He still had that? Had it ever gone away? I had thought the pills helped. I thought we still told each other about these things. But he didn't. And neither did Sunghoon-hyung. At least not willingly. What were the others not saying? Was the fever coming back to all of them?

My head spins now and nausea settles on my stomach. I drop the twigs I'm carrying and sit down. I just need to catch my breath for a moment. Just a moment and I'll go back. Maybe I'll win a cake. The mere thought makes me want to throw up. I don't want a cake. I want something else.

Jungwon, where are you?

The words reach me from far away. I suddenly get a very bad feeling. Are the others okay?

"Jungwon!"

I hear the nurse calling me from somewhere near.

"Jungwon, we're heading back!"

"I'm coming," I manage through the pounding in my head.

I stand up and gather the wood, meeting the nurse and boys on the path that leads back to the orphanage. It seems impossibly long. I need to get back now. Something doesn't feel right.

"Come on, we'll count what each of you brought back at the house," the nurse takes the lead on our way back.

"I've got the most," one boys says. "And I won't share my cake."

"Please share~"

"No way, Jungwon's got more," another says.

I don't pay attention to them. The headache is receding though I'm still nauseous, but I'm only thinking about the others. My brothers. Something isn't right. The way back to the house takes forever but finally I see the courtyard in the distance. As we approach I realise it's empty.

That's odd. It's usually filled with people.

"Where is everyone?" one boy asks.

"They're probably inside. It's very cold today," the nurse tells us, but I see her frowning too.

Her answer doesn't calm me and I run the rest of the way. I find the window that looks into the living room and peek in. I need to know what's going on inside. And what I see stops my breath.