𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕟-𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕟 | ᴇɴ-

𝟏𝟑

Heeseung

I indulge in the feeling of fresh air on my skin. Honestly, I'm surprised I was let out after what happened. The maids don't trust us. Nobody does. The orphans are keeping their distance and every day we are forced to take pills and more pills. They haven't found anything to incriminate us yet. But it doesn't mean they're satisfied.

It's suffocating. I feel their eyes on me all the time. My nightmares don't help either. I've been getting them again on some nights, and it doesn't help with my headache. Or maybe it's the pills that have given me that throbbing pain.

We've all been sent on different rooms and there is tension whenever the seven of us are together. So we mostly avoid each other during the day. If we do hang out, it's in one of our rooms where we can get some privacy. Sunoo has got it worse than the rest of us because they saw him. They haven't seen us. He still gets locked up every night, though the maids let him out a few hours each day. For appearances sake, I think.

We have breakfast together at least, despite everything. It's the only time we talk, though we can't do it freely because all around us are prying eyes. Our conversations are usually filled with stiff words and nervous glances.

"Good morning," I say each time, sitting at our usual table in the dining room.

"Good morning, hyung," they all answer in time.

"How did you sleep?"

"Alright."

"I'm glad."

That's usually as far as it gets, but today Jay broke the monotony.

"They had a meeting," he muttered to us.

"Who?" Jake asked.

"All of them. The maids with the orphans." He looked at me. "Remember Rui told us the Mistress calls them to her office sometimes? She did it. After Sunoo..."

The mentioned looked sorry. He had apologised for the incident, but he still felt guilty.

"How do you know?" Sunghoon asked him.

"I heard them at night."

"What did they say?" Jungwon looked at his food as he asked, to keep eyes away from us. We were all acting with normalcy.

"I couldn't make it out, but maybe I can find out."

"But why wouldn't they summon us as well?" Jake talked a little too loudly and we glared at him.

The day Sunoo was caught he reacted just like the maids did. What's wrong with him? he asked. As if it were Sunoo's fault and he wasn't involved in it at all. It angered us that he had abandoned our brother so quickly. Left him for the maids to do what they wanted with him. If we were to go down, we would do it together like we always had. But we didn't get any time to properly discuss about what we would do if one of got caught and he made the decision for us. Jay was the most upset. I'd never seen him like that.

"I thought they didn't think we were monsters too," Jake continued at the table, signalling to the six of us. "I thought the orphans trusted us."

Jay gripped his fork. "Well they obviously don't, or they would've invited us to their tea party, don't you think?"

"Jay-ah..." Sunghoon warned.

"I just think it's selfish to worry about your reputation with the other orphans right now!"

"Is something the matter?" the head nurse approached our table then and we shut up.

"It's nothing," Jungwon told her.

"We're good," I added.

She hummed, pensive, as she studied us.

"Some of the boys are coming out to collect more firewood, if any of you care to join."

"I'll go!" I volunteered. I was surprised she had offered at all. I assumed they wanted us under their roof and vigilance, but apparently we still had some freedom. The others looked at me, but didn't say anything. I ignored it. I needed to get out.

So I came to the woods, to freshen up. It feels liberating. Between the trees I feel at ease. They call me and my instincts take over.

I've been meaning to come to the woods ever since we came here. At night, its symphony is enthralling, specially when the moon is high. I get thirsty in those late hours, but with a new kind of desperation. My body feels worn out and demands that I feed it again. As I lay awake in my bed, strange memories of running through the woods near a castle come back. In them I'm chasing a deer. And it tastes so sweet.

Snap out of it, Heeseung.

I can't let myself get consumed by these thoughts here. Not when everyone is still around. The head nurse and a few other orphans are around me. She doesn't let me out of her sight. I pretend I don't notice and move a little farther away from the group. I came here to breathe, not be suffocated again.

Nobody tells me anything and I go deeper into the woods. My body feels tired and my stomach rumbles. I'm ravenous. The different scents of the forest rise around me and it doesn't help my situation. I want food, but not the kind we get at the orphanage. Something else. Something I've only tasted once before.

My head throbs again and I stumble through the greenery. I need to eat. I need to drink. A familiar voice guides me, as if it knows what I really want. I follow it through the trees.

My feet move on their own and I let them, feeling the wind rush by my ears. I turn, keep forward, go left. I don't feel lost. I feel at home.

Look ahead, Heeseung.

There, under the shadows of the trees, is a white rabbit. It moves its whiskers through the air. The sound of its breathing reaches my ears. And the smell.

My fangs respond.