Negan's daughter (CarlXreader)

A penny for your thoughts

Carl's pov~~

I am holding Judith on my front porch swaying her keeping her entertained and maybe a little bit of also distracting myself too. my dad took me off of everything today and said was to watch Judith but i also know it was so i wouldn't go anywhere, so i wouldn't jump the fence and go look for y/n.. who hasn't been back in four days. my chest feels heavy and every time i draw a breath in it feels so hollow and heavy like my jaw could also at some point crack and break at the weight i was breathing in. Judith coos almost in time to catch me in my worst thoughts, i look at her and she points to the white chair that sits on our porch, i breath in.

"Do you want to sit down? We can try and sit for a little bit." I sit in the rocking chair and i fix her so shes sitting on my lap but looking out into the neighborhood. We sit and i look out with my sister holding her while she plays with her toys, i can't.. i can't stop thinking, i want to run out and look for them. if it was anyone else they wouldn't even think about it.

"I don't think Judith likes the bouncing very much, Carl."

"what?" i snap and my eyes and brain focus, Enid stood there pointing at me then i look and see Judith looking at me with a sad face and that's about the same time i realized how much and how aggressively my leg was shaking up and down... than Judith started crying.

i stand up quickly and sway her side to said apologizing trying to relax her and Enid is watching me.

"Carl made Judith cry that's definitely one for the books." she jokes.

i ignore her focusing more on trying to quiet down Judith. i continue to sway her and whispering small whispers of how everything was alright and how i got her.

"i asked everyone in town to keep watch out for y/n just in case they pop up anywhere around our gate.. i also heard your dad tell everyone that was going out to do the same, they will watch out to see if y/n is anywhere close by." from the corner of my eye i can see her leaning against the post that was connected to the porch and to the roof that reached out to the stairs... kinda like Hershal's farm. She's just watching me, her arms crossing her chest leaning on her right side, her face blank, i face her.

"if they happen to see her close by, around our gate, we aren't actually looking for her are we? No it's just using the luck of how possibly she could just happen to come around and pop up just walking around. Hell that's so fucking helpful, there's no possible way we could miss them. They dont want to spare the people then i will go, let me go and look, i can go alone." I start to yell.

"Carl you just said it, there is a reason we have to go in small groups in the first place. it make no sense to send you off on your own, if something did happen you have to trust to y/n to get out of it on their own. Think Carl if you did happen to find y/n and they happen to be fine than what, what if they don't want to come back! They had to have left for a reason, to not say anything. You don't even know them, they were with Negan's people that doesn't worry you about who y/n is? His people are dangerous i know you know that, look what they have down to others, to their own people, you said it yourself you've seen how fucked he and his people are. Your dad is keeping an eye on y/n for a reason." she argues trying to keep her anger to herself but then she starts to shift where she stood than she started pacing a little back and fourth.

I put Judith down on the floor with her toys and I turn to her giving her my full attention she continues.

"I don't trust them I don't think we can trust them.. we know nothing about them. All y/n has done is bark orders and is getting into fights with everyone. They have done nothing to show that we can trust them to not betray us they leave for hours without telling anyone where they are going and return like they don't have to explain anything. How do we know y/n isn't a spy for Negan that they aren't going and telling him everything. Maybe they have gone and told Negan everything already and now we are all going to die and this time y/n is going to be watching all of while he kills us... you don't know y/n enough to risk your life." Her face is serious and she starring at me, her eye brows narrow and dark with determination but with a small hint of, panic-stricken.

I breath.

"Jesus also said we can trust y/n and if you don't want to trust y/n fine, don't but you trust him. Y/n has done more than just barked orders, they've given us accesses and surrounding hide outs that's they use in case of ambushes. They have argued our way to safety with Negan and his people they are even trying to protect us form his man coming here and taking more then we agreed, they have saved us from starving. And what did anyone know about us? you guys took us in my dad killed a guy not even within the week of being here, and still you let us eat with you, drink with you, in your homes and nobody knew us. Everyone was scared of us, didn't want to be around us. they didn't trust us... and i know for a fact I've seen you sneaking in and out the camp not telling anyone what you where doing, for hours at a time. I am sure we all have pages in our book we don't want to read out loud to people. I'm sure those pages have explained how we are all just as bad as Negan's people you can't trust anyone, nobody can I'm not asking you to trust them but we also don't just let people go like this, we try." I argue back, Enid isn't wrong but isn't correct either, they are people, like we are people there aren't that many of us anymore and I'm not comfortable to just let that be.

She stands there and stairs at me then looks at Judith who just happened to be looking at both of us, trying to hand us her toys. Enid smiles at my sister, almost hiding it if it wasn't for the small curl that was tugging at the corner of her lip. She looks back up at me and sighs and turns to leave my porch.

"Than i guess we will just have to wait and see what happens."

sorry it takes me like a year to write anything i know i suck but thanks for reading and just trying to stay interested, i know this isnt a very long chapter but i wanted to try and write something because sitting and doing nothing is driving me crazy and im trying to get my groove back.. key word trying! Anyways i do appreciate all og you that are still reading I'll try to write more at least a little bit more than i supposedly have been, thank you my twdloves!!

creep

over and out!!