What If

Chapter 9

I had almost another anxiety attack, luckily sir Gulf was there. Why did she come again? And what the hell sir said that I was his boyfriend?

Now I'm sitting in the office leaning on him, who has his arms around me. I can feel he is feeling uncomfortable. I know I'm heavy.

So I just leaned away from him. And the next moment I was in my warmest place, my sister. She is not my own sister but she is the only one who cares for me.

"Nong?" She called.

I slowly shook my head, she could understand my body language, and she did it this time too.

"Okay take rest, I'm here, don't worry love you" she kissed my forehead.

Why is she back? Why did she come now after doing such things? What if she wants me back? What if she apologises for what she did? The only answer I had is I cannot move on from my past and I'm not gonna give any place in my heart for her anymore. Then what do I want? I cannot live like this forever! Phi will get married and have her own family and I cannot stick with her like this forever.

"Baby please don't keep anything in naa. Cry it out loud, you can find a solution soon" Phi said and I lost my last bit of control to not to cry.

I cried out loud. Everything in my past that taunts me came in front of my eyes. I lost everything because of her. I lost my precious thing that one can have! Why did she do it? Am I not capable of it?

"It's okay nong, it's okay baby. Everything is gone now. You want to talk with her?" Phi asked me.

"No Phi, I don't think so" it wasn't me, it was sir Gulf who answered.

I nodded.

"Okay now you have someone to voice your thoughts huh baby?" She asked, teasing me.

I shook my head and hugged her tightly, I relaxed when she patted my back.

After sometime I slowly withdrew myself from phi and sat straight.

"Sorry sir! I wasted your time" I said in a hoarse voice, as I cried a lot earlier.

"Don't apologise to him, he sneaked away from me and ran here, such a naughty boy" Phi complained to me.

"Phi, I wanted some snacks" he tried to reason out with a cute pout, which made me smile.

"Ohh, yeah there are so many cafes out there but you chose here which is 15 minutes away in a drive" she faked anger. I know that she was glad that he was there to handle me.

"But there is no P'Mew in other cafes and I wanted to see him" he blurred out.

"Ohh I see" she said knowingly. Don't tell me that she knows about sir's feelings for me.

"Don't look at me like that Phi, she knows how I feel for you, I love you" he said, such a shameless person.

"You didn't answer him baby?" She asked. I felt a wave of guiltiness attacking me.

"Can I talk to him, Phi?" I asked her.

"You want me to be with you?" She asked me back.

"No Phi, he deserves to know everything, if you are here I can't speak" she understood that I will cry more if she is here.

"Okay baby, nong please take care of him naa, I will go to my work place, feel free to call me anytime and you can go to your home directly" she said, and left us alone.

"Sir, can we go home, I want chop to be with me" I said hesitantly.

"Okay Phi" he said and got me out of the cafe after bidding bye to the workers and owners of the cafe which I usually do without fail.

We started to drive to my home. "How is chop doing Phi? Is he still possessive of you?" A small smile appeared on my face thinking about my lil piggy boy.

"What do you think sir?" I asked back.

"I can bet that he had grown more possessive of you now, he bit me already right!" He said pouting. He is very focused on driving too.

"I'm sorry for that, he saw you hugging me so he got possessive nothing more"

"What am I going to do in future?" he whined. I'm not too innocent to not know his words but I feel bad for him. And again it pulled me back to my past thoughts.

He was trying to change my mood but I couldn't speak anything, it pains me. Where did I go wrong? Why did my parents hate me this much till they disowned me? It's not literally disowning but they didn't give anything for me to take the next step. I admit that I was wrong and made a big mistake. Why can't they see my pain? Am I that unworthy? I suffered with them and I moved out voluntarily without informing my parents and it's not easy for them to guess where I'm staying because P'Sara doesn't have any connections with my family or with my relatives.

I know that my parents are also suffering without me there but I never had the guts to speak to them after losing what I shouldn't lose. Only P'Sara knows that I'm still watching them from far, my siblings are growing great.

They are thinking that I'm happy, but here I'm having a phobia where I can't get close to anyone. It's not that easy to digest. It's not days or months. It's years, 6 whole years for god's sake.

I'm getting okay now but she came back and pulled me away again. I'm in pain, it really hurts, badly.

And between these thoughts, I'm getting scared about speaking it to some other person again. It was not that hard to explain P'Sara about it because I was okay back then but I'm not now.

"Phi we are here!" Sir's voice pulled me from my deep thoughts.

"Thank You sir, let's go" we entered the elevator and pressed the floor where we are living, happy home.

"Are you okay Phi?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Everything will be fine naa, I'm here" he hugged me while the elevator stopped on my floor.

****************❤️♥️***************

To be continued...

I can clearly hear many screaming
'What the hell is Mew's past?'
I will say it soon, by that time can you guess it... I have already gave many clues😂

35 for next 💕

Happy reading ❤️

XOXO 😘

-Hana 💖