𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐕: It took you a long time to grasp that, while Dazai craves love, you can't give it to him everytime he needs it. You are capable of loving certain relationships and not others. To operate differently, to issue loan agreements that you will not be able to keep, is to jeopardize your own and the individual in need's honesty. Everything has been done in the name of love. You are never sure if you cared for the young male or not. Sometimes you believe it's just for the job. Love is a strong word, and it is used all the time, whether it's for or against others.
Meeting and training Dazai was a colossal mistake that you will never forgive yourself for. Since then, he's been your primary focus. He had enticed you in and garnered his trust, gradually whittling you down as your body rots. You wished you could've taken back your own actions and decisions. The male was a monster, but only because of his horrid attitude. Despite following directions from a shadowy top deity, you failed to succeed to save him. You were no god, so trying over and over again was pointless. He thought of you as a god and looked up to you, but that was your first meeting. — He no longer views that about you.
He became addicted to your praise the more you applauded him. When your comments, the voice, and the smooth richness of your affection, he became intoxicated. His powdered rosy cheeks and the way he slightly stutters tantamount to say the right things to you. But that was long ago, he was not that kid you taught and teached. Clearly you took notice that he didn't need you anymore, but yet he still stayed by your side.
As a knock came, you were engrossed in your own thoughts. You stood up with your back to the wall. After what happened with Dazai, you knew the longer you stayed, the more horrifying things you'd see. Mori's speech would have been longer anyhow. Soon later, you returned to your room. It was little, far too tiny. You were first concerned about how you would manage to stay here, but you became accustomed to it. Some people questioned your sanity for being in an all-shade room, but you found it relaxing. The abundance of colors might be overpowering and make it difficult to concentrate. You approached the door expecting to see Dazai, and you were correct.
"Senpai."
As you allowed him in, you nodded. As you proceeded to close the door, the man dropped down on your bed. You noticed the male's clothing still had blood on it and immediately recognized who owned it. You grimaced at the concept, but quickly realized that the other youngster was not your main concern. It is Dazai who requires your attention and care. People would grumble about how much simpler your work is than others', comparing you to a babysitter. That's just because of how you explained the scenario; others may interpret it differently, but most people believe you're simply a caretaker. — Oh, it's so much worse.
