𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓 ✦: Author note at the end. I don't really like this chapter that much.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ⚠️✦: Mention of suicide and and suicidal actions.
𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐏𝐎𝐕:
Jealous or the term jealousy, I do not enjoy that word. I would never admit or show it, but in the end I will. Love is a desirable emotion; jealousy is a sickness. The underdeveloped brain frequently confuses the two or feels that the more in love, the more jealousy there will be. In fact, there is scarcely any place for one feeling to exist without the other. Watching the other male walking away from me when I knew he heard me whisper a few words, truely did hurt me. Slightly, but not a lot. My body fell to the ground as I couldn't bare to wait anymore for Dazai. He's dumb to think I'll be waiting forever for him, yet here I am sitting and waiting.
My head were held by my hands as I leaned on my thighs. Grumbling, I decided to shut my eyes. The soft breeze brushed through my hair as I slowly remembered a small memory. The past events with me and M/N. I must admit it was my fault that I acted the way I did when we first encountered him, but he never mind my rude outcomes towards him. I realised my mistakes and reflected on them. I was self-centered and craved company. I was determined to have him adore me and regard me as someone he could rely on. That's why I was so jealous of Dazai, he didn't even have to try to have M/Nadore him and applause for his actions.
- His expression softened when he turned to face Dazai, as I recalled.
I view the male is from how he acts rather than his appearance. The term "beauty" is often overused. I genuinely think that people should assess someone based on how they react and act around other people. The beauty in him isn't just his looks, but rather his way of judgement. His beauty is how kind and generous he is. I would never believed there was such a kind soul in this world, this world is cruel with everything you do to upset it. He didn't mind me messing up a few times, nor did he yell at me. Instead he would correct me, instruct on the moves I've done wrong and used himself as demonstration.
I was observed punching a manikin in the training room without my ability because M/N wanted to assess my fitness levels. I admit I was initially a little dubious because I already knew I was strong enough, but as time went on, I realized I made a lot of mistakes. I would periodically look back to see whether M/N had noticed it, but to my surprise, he wasn't upset or criticizing my actions. He remained motionless while crossing his arms.
"Maintain your training and act as if I'm not here."
I turned back to the manikin while the male continued, nodding as I inhaled and exhaled. I quickly started advancing my workouts. As my leg struck the head, I leaped and turned around to strike with my fist. I stood back up as the body dropped. I won't lie; there is something consoling and pleasant about not using my talent in battle occasionally. Was he anticipating this the entire time? I turned my head to look at the clapping male.
