The story of us

Eight

I'm not sad anymore, I'm just sick of this place and if this year would just end, I think we'd all be okay.
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I had been out for about two hours. The sky was still as black as a goths soul and the street lights were bright enough to blind you. I'd walked along this street three times already but I couldn't bring myself to go home yet. What if that's is? What if he does have cancer? Why does it always happen to us? Why do u feel like it's my fault? I asked myself over and over but i couldn't find any answers that didn't involve diggs at myself. I thought about going back to the hospital unit
to see Anna but I don't think I'd be able to get back out of that place once I've gotten back in. What am I doing with myself? It was 4am and I was dragging myself along streets I didn't know even existed when I was supposed to be at home looking after my boyfriend. It's too much.

I managed to force myself home and onto the sofa. I couldn't bring myself to go back up to bed so I slept downstairs instead. After gaining the feeling back in my fingers and hands I put my headphones in and listened to one of the mixtapes Luke had made. It consisted of 'is there somebody who can watch you by The 1975, 'superheroes' by The script' 'The Only Reason' by 5 seconds of Summer, 'I Miss You' by Blink-182 and James Bays' new album 'Chaos and the Calm'. I decided to take a few pills which would help me sleep because I really couldn't go another day without sleep.

"When I close my eyes and try to sleep u fall apart I find it hard to breathe your the reason the only reason"

I really want life to be normal again but I can't remember what normal is. When I woke up Luke was still asleep but we had a voice mail from the doctors so I decided to play it now. "Hello Mr Hemmings, it's the doctor here, we have your test results back and I'm really sorry but it's not good news in cancer I'm afraid but don't panic ring me so we can schedule an appointment asap, many thanks."

I think my heart broke into a thousand pieces my Lukey has cancer. I don't think anything could be as scaring as that sentence.