The story of us

Ten

I don't mean to be a bother but have you seen this girl? She's been running through my dreams and it's driving me crazy it seems.

-Remembering Sunday / All time low

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"Eesia? What are you doing up here? You should be looking after Luke downstairs, please don't jump, your worth so much more than this and you don't even know it" said Ashton, Luke must have got the nurse to ring him, ugh he knows I can't not listen to Ash sine he knows what he's talking about but I think it's too late this time. There's nothing he can say that's going to make me stop myself this time.

"Ashton I'm really not in the slightest. I deserved to be dead a long time ago, the names; emo, slut, fat, they're all too much, the demons in my head; I can't escape from them anymore. It's my time to call the shots Ash, I should have been gone a long time ago, it would be better for everyone else if I at least left now, even for Luke, he won't have to worry about me anymore, none of you will' I replied. I saw Ash's head drop because he knows it's true. He knows I can't take it anymore. He knows that I'm not strong enough. He knows that this is the end.

He slowly paced over towards where my feet were dangling off the edge of the roof and sat down next to me. "Look Ees, I know that life you you and Luke hasn't exactly been the easiest, but there's one thing I do know for sure. Luke needs you more than anything ever. He never shuts up about you and band practise and if you left him now I don't think he'd last a day. So here's my proposal, if you et down from this roof, you can come on tor with us and it will be a surprise for Lukey when he's better, or if you jump I'll jump as well"

He knows that I could let him jump as well because then Luke would be completely alone. Ugh. I hate Ashton at times.

"Fine. But you can't stop me doing something else Ash, nobody can because I'm beyond broken" i said as I walked down the long corridor to the stairs to get off the roof. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. Luke deserves better. Everyone deserves better than me.

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Life has been pretty rubbish recently, and I've felt too much like Eesia does here but I want you all to know that it will get better and that there is something beyond how you feel now, stay strong I love you xoxo