12:26, july 12th
'did you know that like, beyonce..is so good.'
ev echoes in her changing cubicle that melts the sound under the doorgap.
'i know right? beyonce is so pretty.'
cherry responds stroking her mascara wand.
me and ev have been best friends since we were 7 months old, we have stuck together throughout our friend group break ups, which remained with me, her, bibi and cherry.
ev has a perfect natural tan,
the bluest eyes and fresh dyed hair.
cherry matches her locks but always cuts curtain bangs that complements her faceshape, and the prettiest teeth.
bibi has muddy green eyes and full lips, shiny clear skin.
we all share the same ritual of a monthly makeover sesh and rant, plucking and planting upon the eve of a party.
we step out and gather our steps over to the rubber painted brick before the boys rooms, and lean against it.
'yo six what's the time?'
i bring my eyes to glance at the dick infront of me,
'bro you ain't got a phone okorie?'
cherry questions.
'would i be asking if i had one?'
okorie is a g
he had inky black hair,
skin that warmed easily in the summer
and a collection of flip phones that assisted his family business.
he also had the most perfect features,
a button nose that spread when he expressed, big eyes and fat lips.
cherry kisses her teeth at his dumb ass and i give him the digits.
'thanks, fucking garcia took it off me so now i can't make a deal bruh'
'shit, i don't give a fuck'
i replied and he laughed sarcastically
'yeah yeah. you love me though fr.'
jasper walks out of the room chugging a sprite.
'yo oak why you talking to my broad?!'
'ohhh damn i didn't know she was yours'
okorie mocks.
'shut the fuck up jas i'm not none of nobody'
cherry grins, dapping him up as he let out a gargling burp like no other.
we walk out to the sun kissed pave that lead to the sun burnt grassy fields, where occasional football games and summer pe lessons occur. jose and okorie juggle a ball on their brown tanned knees that makes slapping noises on their caps. preparations for next weeks field day are under construction; the collection of needles, worn out filters and bottles that hibernate under the bleachers are being taken up, the refreshments stall is beginning to take form with metal poles and screws.
we trip over to the centre of the track where two nets face eachother like a mexican stand-off, shooting until the scores are uneven.
i have never liked soccer so i just sit before the game, admiring the patchy grass under the rays.
on the pitch plays jose, okorie, jasper, isaac and nicolau...leaving the inevitable xavier
'ohh hey girl you looking fly today'
i roll my eyes and ignore his plans to make a fool outta me.
'why you not talking?'
he smirked, squatting on his long legs to reach my side profile.
'why do you care so much man i'm just tryna chill out here'
'because- you think you can fucking talk to me like you did saturday, and i'm not gonna let that happen'
'let it go xav'
he laughed,
'i aint gon do that six and you know that. you said a lot of fucked up things that weren't true'
'hah like what'
i look up at him half-eyed in disbelief, then returning my focus back to the game, leaning my chin on my knees that smelled of cocoa butter.
'about my dick'
i try to hide my awkward laugh caused by the silence but even in best attempts it always fails,
'mh- ugh i don't remember what i said, sorry'
i felt his eyes reading my complexion and for once i felt threatened, compatible to only a female fear, that leaves us conjoined to the danger.
'shit, you said i had a small dick'
he makes eye contact with me as he pulls another smirk.
'how do i know it's a lie..?'
i simper towards him, upturning my face and he sniggers looking at the grass,
'you jus gon have to find out'
i was locked in with his pupils and i looked deeper in focus than ever before, feeling the blush run bloody in the inside of my face.
xavier stands up still in contact with my spectors and his lean fingers brush through my springy curls, then walks away.
'dont touch my hair, fuckass'
'what?'
he toned in a sharp dig, turning around and i felt dizzy at the thought of his next move.
'i'm not one of your sluts, and you aint gonna change my mind or ever touch me.'
i stand my ground.
'...your an insecure bitch seven.'
he pronounced his consonants enough to hurt me at every letter,
'cause you a slut. nothing wrong with it.'
he glared at me closely in amusement as i try to refrain from talking due to the overthinking i knew he was gonna put me through. even though i knew he was lying, if i showed emotion it would be used against my undecided case.
i'm left on the flat field, trying to piece together the energy that has fallen into a million fractions in my stomach.
my posture is lifted as i enquire my own startled mess, zoning out in the direction of the game.
as i snap out i watch jasper and oak discussing a matter in my view, but i think nothing of it as my adrenaline sinks.
13:41
lunch time comes and i'm still stuck in my own discussion, sitting with theo, rueben and érica snacking on cocadas. we shade under the fabric canopy overlooking the cafeteria, watching the queues of kids in orange, yellow and sky blue polos coming in and out. the benches have scribbles of love notes that every word reminds me of the early occurrence on the green growth for this poetry and feeling i had fraudulently been trying to earn, supposedly.
'sev pass me your drink i want a sip!'
eri asked.
érica is my twin.
we both have the exact same height, small nose and eyes, as well as our natural confidence.
however she was fully portuguese so she has curly bleached hair and watery coloured iris's against her own sandy skin.
'here'
i responded with a smile
'god this flavour is bomb, where did you pick this up?'
'cherry's stop'
i continued to stare at the ever-forming queue with a grin.
'are you ok? your like super spaced out right now s'
she laughed taking another glug.
'yeah i'm realllly good'
i extend my words in boredom twittering my eyelashes with my tanned fingers.
'hm okay!'
she focused herself back onto reuben and theo's conversation about a weed farming game.
15:00
i must of missed xavier at lunch because i hadn't seen him pass through the line, although i faced the growing and shrinking chaos for the majority waiting for his figure. as i'm waiting by the gate to collect any friends that may be passing, i spot him about to exit it and shoot a smile to meet his to hope for sorry.
'SEVEN? where the fuck have you been?'
jasper yelled as he blocked my view of xav.
'i ain't been no where'
annoyed, i try to avoid his figure to find xavier's tall one but it's no use, he must of already left.
'well fuck, i saw you talking to xavier and now you're acting fucking strange!'
'says who??'
'cherry, oak AND teo.'
i questioned the reply,
'why would oak know anything. i haven't said a word to him since pe dumbass'
'maybe cause your too high on summin to even notice!?'
'i am not. fucking. high jasper. now please, i'm gonna go piss'
i kick over to the pink toned cubicles in the north block stations and pick the last toilet. it was a bigger space that had some weird toxic stain on the brittle glitter tiles, litters of notes on the wooden divider, from song lyrics to arguments. the ring was cold under my ass which made a difference to the never ending brazilian heat. after i finished i met myself with the single mirror on the wall with an elevated grimace at my complexion, because only both of us knew what had happened earlier.
leaving the toilets the yard is clear of physical souls that ran around previously as the bell rang. it is completely vacant, because even ev, bibi and cher left without me, leaving me to trudge home alone with a tick of anger in my heart.
that is until i spot an individual in my retinas peripheral vision, it starts to appear closer as i turn to continue the same soul searching as before. it's xavier.
'hey'
he blossomed, appraising my being.
'i didnt mean what i said earlier'
we stare at eachother in the space of controlled silence as i use my power to read his mind for lines of apology.
'kay?'
'okay, give me a fucking hug'
'ha.'
i emit the most awkward and sarcastic remark into the acoustics of the school yard, yet still he never heard me. as i was smothering for breath; which he mistook for his embrace; suffocating forgiveness instead.
