Alchemy •Dan Smith•

thirteen

•Flashback•

Sitting on the stairs with my only friend was the way I normally spent my lunch my ninth year. She had more friends than me (obviously) and family that frequently visited her and her two young sisters. Yet she still found a way to complain to me during those forty minute lunches about how worthless she felt and how nobody loved her. The fact that she always said that to someone like me with nobody, pissed me off to no end. Being the overly nice person I was, I stuck with her and tried giving her advice and support as much as I could.

Fast forward a year, I sit alone every lunch in the library. My friend is long gone, transferred to another school for a fresh start on grades. The only person I could hold a conversation with gone, leaving me to my always looming thoughts with no distraction. Feelings of loneliness and self loathing consumed me, and when they weren't so strong I was numb.

That's when I started shedding the weight.

I realized that being both fat and ugly with a shy demeanor only made the possibility of being worth something so much more difficult. I busied myself with soccer and running. Reduced my food intake and drank as much water as my small bladder would allow.

By my the next year I felt a bit fitter at 125 pounds, 20 pounds lighter than my first weigh in. But as classes and everything got more stressful I ate snack foods, eating away my worries. I gained some back and it angered me so I found an alternative which allowed me to both eat and lose weight.

Until I passed out during a practice my final year and with the help of myself and a lot of time I stopped. I thought for good.

•End of Flashback•

Brushing my teeth and washing my hands, I pulled my hair out of it's pony tail and redid it in a messy French braid, with no need to look presentable for the night alone. I did the rest of my nightly things before grabbing a glass of water and pulling on my old soccer sweats and a t shirt.

.•*.•*.•**•.*•.*•.
Knock knock knock

The pounding on my door broke my concentration from an intense scene in the current book I was reading. I instantly realized it was my sickly neighbor due to a muffled throat clearing from the opposite side of the door.

What did he want? Not to be mean, but I wanted some me time, and I have no clue why he would want to be caught with me in the first place.

"Hello?" I asked as I pulled open the door. He stood behind it with a loose shirt and baggy sweats, riding low.

"Em, you said come over if I em needed anything and I was wondering if you had more of those cough drops? My throat is killing me."

"Yeah let me check, come on in."

After checking the cupboards and coming up empty, I then offered him a cuppa which he accepted politely.

The conversation was light, invaded by little cough attacks on Dan's part. Where his eyes would squint and his nose crinkled, which I thought was adorable.

After our chat and he assured the tea had soothed his throat for the time being, and thanked me before retreating back into his humble abode.

.•*.•*.•**•.*•.*•.

Wrapped up in my blankets, I turned on a playlist (seeing as the music from my new found friend wasn't an option until his throat felt better) and began to think. Thoughts of things other than that of hate of who I was. I thought of my family, my past friend, my new friend(s?), and the people around me.

My family was high on my list of things to sort out. I wanted to visit them and show how much of an adult I have become, but I know going back would be hard and stir up memories. Memories that almost making going back unbearable. Seeing my mom would be worth it, seeing her smile. The smile that reminded me to keep going because no matter your past their is always a future.

My old friend, I wondered how she had been holding up. Hopefully well, and contacting her seemed almost impossible.

My new found friend Dan, as well as Ralph, where do I begin. Grate fullness? Disbelief? No words could describe the feeling of being around people like them. It was easing, so far anyways. Hopefully I get closer to them but that is wishful thinking. Almost too wishful to a person like me.

Sorry I've been busy! I'm going to be updating my other story soon, which should be pretty nice. Thanks for all the reads as well it means a lot, and I might be making something with just some drabbles and imagines if anyone would want that? Anyways bye (: