Begin Again

iv. alone with the stars

a flush of emotions filled my heart.

as everything just reminds me of then.

i always thought that through time, i will build this strength. my wounds would heal.

but everytime i land my eyes on what is aching, it's still there. as if time did not happen.

i can't find another synonym. another word for this.

it just hurts.

i have been holding on, not to fall apart.

i don't know if my grip is strong enough.

what would happen to me if i just let go?

i know i can't.

i can't run away, again and again.

i raised my chin to have a glimpse of the night sky.

at least the moon and the stars are there for me.

having to look at these celestial bodies is a different form of an embrace that tells you,

"everything will be alright."

there may not be someone who gives me words to console,

nor to pat my shoulder for staying and holding on,

but the dark night sky that emphasizes each ray of light that builds the presence of the stars are enough to say the words,

i am here.