Begin Again

the clock ticks slowly

it doesn't go away.

it never did.

you can't force a flower to bloom when the previous season hasn't ended.

you can't rush something and expect an excellent outcome.

i wish i knew that.

all along, i thought i was rapidly moving.

i thought i was sprinting.

things around me changed, in a short span of time.

but when i look down on my feet, it's almost the same ground where i thought i already left.

when do i get to leave? to get my feet moving?

whenever i try to take a step forward, my heart skips a beat that brings back all the pain.

it feels like my heart is syncing with a loud drum playing in a distant.

each step feelings like the opposite.

am i moving at all?

if i am, it makes me wonder why does it get harder in every pull i make.

is it supposed to feel like that?

my mind is flooded with questions and my chest is filled with heartaches.

everyday, as i open my eyes from my sleep, i get stabbed up front with a knife in my heart.

the reality that makes it hard to get up from the bed.

i'm still me.

how can i be someone whom i hate the most?