Paper Dolls

Chapter 1

What does one think of when they are mere seconds away from imminent death?

Do they discover the famous light at the end of the tunnel? Or do pangs of regret fill their hammering hearts, reminding them of all the mistakes they have made? Does the face of a loved one flash before their eyes? Or the panic of the unknown awaiting them on the other side.

I've never been one to think of the end of life. When you are young and filled with ambition, death is something far far down the road. Something looming over the geriatric or the sick instead. 

My life has been a regimen of studies, dance practices, vocal lessons and assessments. The pressure of making it through our monthly evaluations have been stressful enough, I've never had the time to worry about freak accidents that would kill me like a bus crash or getting struck by lightning. Or even choosing death. 

I've never thought of it as a choice.

And yet, as I sit here while the stylists fiddle with my hair and face, death is all I can think of. 

What went through Dalia's mind when she jumped off her private suite, landing on one of the busiest streets in Hongdae. I've wondered repeatedly what millions of people have been asking all over the news and internet for the past few days. 

Why? 

Dalia, previously known as Eun Young was a legend in our humble hometown. Most people have never heard, much less visited Hadong, a small farming community nestled alongside the Seomjin River in the valley of Jiri Mountain. 

Unlike the sprawling metropolis that is Seoul, Hadong is a small town packed with straw roofed hut-like houses, clustered together like mushrooms. The primary business here is agriculture and most of us grew up to take over our parents roles in the industry. 

That was until Eun Young snuck out of town with her brother as her legal guardian and took part in an audition at PT Entertainment - a big 3 company and one of the oldest, most prestigious in South Korea.

The most shocking thing was that she passed, beating five thousand other hopefuls. 

No one in our town has ever dared to dream of anything besides agriculture and Eun Young broke the mould. When she finally debuted as Dalia, after six years of training, the entire town of Hadong gathered at a local news outlet to watch. 

Since then the town has never been the same. Now tourists flock to Hadong like it is the seventh wonder of the world but really all they want is to see the humble beginnings of their beloved idol. 

Sometimes I think Dalia's success was the only reason why my parents even allowed me to audition and pursue my very own dream of becoming a Kpop idol. 

Although I wasn't fortunate enough to get accepted into any of the Big 3, I still succeeded in getting into Firefly Entertainment, a smaller company which has churned out a few successful idols. 

I've spent four long years here and more often than not I thought I was going to be dropped. It is a fear that plagues not only me but all other trainees but now I wonder why Dalia threw it all away by jumping out of that building. 

She was always happy even as a child when we used to chase each other around our houses, playing catch or hide and seek. Granted, we lost touch when she made it big but I'd somehow always thought she was happy and content. 

How could someone with all that fame and success not be?

My eyebrows pinch together when the stylist tugs at my hair. She brushes it carelessly as she gossips with another stylist, both pretending like I'm not even there. If I were from Firefly's popular boy group Viva, they would never handle me so ruffly.