Paper Dolls

Chapter 27

3/2/2019

Dear Eun Young,

I think I have a problem. 

Yes, I know everyone has issues. It's part and parcel of daily life right? But I think my problem is more physical, maybe physiological? 

I don't know. I don't know if I will even send out this letter. I want to share everything with you, even those most personal secrets that I would never share with anyone else. But then again would you love me if you knew? 

I know a lot of couples who keep secrets from one another. Personally, I think it's kind of sad but then again maybe that's what makes the relationship work. Maybe you only stay with people whom you barely know, because you're in love with the best versions of them and knowing too much maybe just spoil everything. 

Regardless, I need to get this of my chest so I'm writing it down. 

So my teenage years were mainly spent worrying about money. I went to a good school, one of the best in Insadong. I'm not sure if you've heard of Pil Chi private school but it's one of the best in the district, boasting the third highest acceptance rate in the country. 

As you can expect, such a school demanded quite the sum of money for tuition fees. My sister was admitted on a scholarship, she's the smarter one amongst the two of us. My parents apparently bled through their noses to pay for me and they never let me forget it. 

Sometimes I wish they'd never sent me there to begin with. I'm more the street smart type, studies were never my strong suit. I struggled with exams and assignments and eventually fell in with the 'bad crowd' in my year. 

And when I say bad crowd I don't mean riff raff. I'm talking about minister's and chaebol's children. Those who never bothered getting an A because their futures were already guaranteed to shine brighter than anyone else. 

It was easy skipping class with this group. My attendance was always guaranteed and I didn't have to suffer through subjects I grew to hate. The only problem was that these kids could pay their way to good grades and recommendation letters where as I couldn't. 

Sooner or later my parents found out that their hard earned money had gone down the drain and I had gotten into a mediocre community college. 

I remember my dad gave me the silent treatment for almost a year. Not until I graduated with a mass communications degree. It's a fake one but he'll never know. I hope. 

The only passion I ever had was photography. I took a class during my first year and then went on to sign up for the short course. This is the main reason why QBS recruited me. My pictures are really that good. 

One day I'll show you a few good ones I've taken of you. Most of them are in the airport, but there are a few special ones like when you sneak off to the supermarket with your manager by your side. 

I don't sell those. They're private and personalised specially for me. Like you got ready and snuck of to buy groceries specifically for me to see. 

Anyway back to THE PROBLEM. 

Even though I never graduated with my chaebol friends in high school, we all somehow kept in touch. They never stopped their partying and they've never stopped inviting me even though I never pay a scent during our outings. I just can't afford the places they choose but they've never complained. 

I know it's weird but sometimes I kind of get it. 

I've always been the guy girls tend to approach when we're out together, even in school. I don't know if it's because my face is less intimidating or something but it's just always been like that.