Paper Dolls

Chapter 55

Remember the stars. The brightest lights often have the darkest shadows.

I pace my room, unable to sleep, to stop thinking, to just shut off and relax. Why did she leave me that note? What message was she trying to send?

Dalia was always obsessed with the night sky, the stars and all their constellations. Her talking about stars was hardly an oddity but the timing, the way the note slipped out inconspicuously. The vagueness of the words.

I keep thinking that she's trying to tell me something. She knew if I read that letter, it would mean she was dead.

The brightest of lights often have the darkest shadows. Was she talking about herself? Or her group mates?

I fall on to my bed with a loud plop and stare up at the plain white ceiling of my room. There must be a reason that note was there. It can't be a coincidence.

Maybe she's trying to tell me she's hiding something. Maybe she wants me to find something. I sit up abruptly and send a picture of the message to Hyeon.

He doesn't reply which is hardly a surprise because it's already 2am in the morning. Curiosity sears my skin, burning all the way down to my bones. I get up and start pacing again. This past week, I haven't danced a single step or practiced any song.

The holiday has me refreshed but my body's too used to the fatigue after a long day of practices. It's easy to sleep through the over thinking when you're already worn down by strenuous activity.

I've been free for days. Just two more till my break is over and I have to be back at Firefly. It's like a countdown has started ever since I read Dalia's letter and I can't rest till I solve it.

I pour through her songs and lyrics the entire night. Gleaning for anything star or darkness related. She mentions them ever so often, in her songs and interviews but there's nothing concrete to go on.

I don't even know if I should be looking for a place, person or object.

It's close to 6am when I finally give up and lie down on my bed. My eyes threaten to close as I blink at the ceiling. That message was meant for me, meaning it must be something I know off.

The white concrete above me blurs as exhaustion finally kicks in and a thought drifts in right before I succumb to sleep.

Dalia's room is littered with stars. The one here in Hadong.

I head to Dalia's house first thing the next day, earning a look of surprise from her mother.

"Jina, dear. Can I help you with anything?" She opens the door only slightly and for a moment I wonder if she won't let me in.

"I was wondering if I could take a look at Dalia's room. Just for memories sake." I have to squint at her because the morning sun is so glaring at this hour.

Mrs Young's face darkens for a moment and her eyes narrow, making me wonder if she's going to turn me away but then she turns to the side, making way for me.

I nod gratefully and walk inside. The Young's redid their house after Sweet Poison finished their first world tour. Everything inside is expensive and from the city but the layout has remained the same over the years.

I used to come here all the time as a kid. It feels familiar yet so different, the years spent away making me take a few tentative steps into the living room.

Mr Young is out on the fields today and I see a bucket of fermented cabbage laid out in front of the tv.

"Got a fresh batch in yesterday. I'll send some over once I'm done with the seasoning." Mrs Young says, following my gaze.