fail by design

Revelations

Pepa Madrigal was used to being the one drowning, both figuratively and literally. The tight grasp she had on her emotions was slipping, the balance hanging delicately before the lid would loosen slightly, resulting in a whipping downpour of rain and wind. The consistent "Pepa, you're out of control. Contain yourself." She was never allowed to truly delve into anything she felt, always the one risking the most.

To hear the person she loved as a son say the ruthless words engraving in her heart hurt. She was drowning. Camilo's outburst rang through her head, claims that were entirely justified. The guilt was suffocating her.

There was an everlasting script that she clung to once her brother had disappeared, the one of Camilo actually being her son, repeating over and over again until she became delusioned into believing it to be the truth. The minute she laid eyes on Bruno though, his frame coming out from behind their mother, the buzzing in her head becoming louder and louder, screaming that she was going to lose part of her heart once more. No matter the fact, whether Camilo was her son, or whether he was her nephew, she loved him. She'd thought Bruno coming back wouldn't change that, Camilo would still love her, would still reach out in his own gentle way. She'd convinced herself that things would stay the same, that it wouldn't hurt to hear him call her "Tía Pepa" rather than "Mama".

She's inconsolable. The truth is out, and she wasn't fast enough to prevent any of the damage that would come from it.

Maybe, just maybe, if Pepa had stuck up for her brother just once, she wouldn't have been on the receiving end of the brutal admittance that she tried so hard to avoid. She should have cherished her brother's memory, and hid the fact that she was telling Camilo the truth all along from her mother. She should have told him stories of his father as a child, or how he panicked over being a father for the first few months, before realising that Camilo was just as enamoured with him in return.

Things could have been different. Pepa never should have taken her mother's words as the ultimate truth.

There wouldn't be a way for her to reconcile with Camilo unless she admitted the truth to herself, and that alone was proving more difficult than planned.

The sobs that wracked her body, making her head spin from the lack of air was almost a welcome relief from the guilt and regret. She could still make out the faint murmurs of her sister, husband, and brother-in-law, the fingers brushing through her hair, but stubbornly remained in her bubble of self-induced torment.

-

It would be wrong to say that Agustín didn't see this coming. When Julieta had come to their room all those years ago, revealing that they were to hide Camilo's parentage, there was a sense that had overcame him, warning him that this wouldn't turn out well. He in turn, had told the others, but was ultimately brushed off.

Sure, he'd reasoned, it could work for a few years, maybe even up until he was an adult, off and married. But sooner or later, there would come a day when Alma leaves them, ashes scattered in the wind, when the day of reckoning would come at last. The family would be having to root through her things, deciding what had enough sentimental value to keep, or just reminiscing over fond memories together. This would be where Camilo, or one of the several children would pull out the hidden books and journals. Or perhaps, a time where his nephew would finally break into Bruno's tower, the truth engraved in a wall of green glass. Where a fight would break out, screams of "Why did you never tell me?!".

Which is exactly what had happened only hours ago. In retrospect, Agustín didn't think his brother-in-law was even in the area, much less that Bruno was living in the walls. Somehow the furthest removed from Camilo, yet he found himself standing more on the boy's side rather than being sympathetic to his family who were paralyzed by emotions.