Y/n has to watch her best friend Tom get married after being in love with him all these years.
y/n's pov
As I sat down at the front row, I watched him nervously fiddle with his hands as he waited under the white floral arch. He was bouncing slightly, jittering from anxiety and breathing heavily.
As anxious as he was, I couldn't help admire him; the loose curly hair, the fitted black suit and that incredible jawline. He looked perfect as per usual.
We locked eyes and I gave him a reassuring smile, mouthing "you okay?" in which he nodded with small grin.
A grin of excitement.
Of course I'm happy for him, he's my best friend and I love him so much. But that's the problem...I love him too much.
Yet I'm not the one he loves. She is.
I have nothing against Zendaya; she's an amazing woman and her and Tom are so in love with each other. But if I had one wish it would be that they had never met. Because deep down, I felt like...
That should be me.
As the music began, all eyes snapped to the back of the aisle and she turned the corner. She looked so beautiful in that form fitting white gown, hair waved and a gorgeous smile plastered over her face. But I wasn't focussed on how great she looked, I was focussed on the voice in my head.
That should be me.
Once she reached Tom, he looked at her with pure adoration. The type of adoration I would kill for him to look at me with. I watched his grinning lips mouth;
"You look so beautiful."
That should be me.
The ceremony felt like such a blur. The entire time I was just trying to force those thoughts out my head and be happy for my best friend. Be happy that he's found the love of his life.
That should be me.
What brought me back to reality was the words that came from the priest.
"If there is anyone that objects to the two of these people binding in holy matrimony, please stand."
Silence. All i could hear was my heart thumping. The urge to stand up and profess my love was dangerous, it made adrenaline shoot through my body. But I couldn't, I wouldn't.
A part of loving someone is doing everything in your power to make them happy. Even if it destroys you.
So, all I did was let a single tear slip down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away after noticing Toms gaze coming my way, hoping i had been quick enough and he hadn't seen.
But he had.
He frowned whilst looking straight at me, not needing to say anything as his expression clearly said 'what's wrong?'. I looked down into my lap and fiddled with my hands, not being able to stand his eyes on mine right now. I didn't look up for the rest of the wedding, until the end. I wish I hadn't as I looked up just as they kissed. The most passionate, loving kiss.
That should be me.
lil time skip
Being the grooms best friend, I was sat on the main table with Tom and Zendaya's family. Eating was almost impossible as I felt sick to my stomach; he was really married. And to make matters worse, I had a full view of how loved up they were. I couldn't bare it anymore. I sent a small smile Nikki's way, who was sitting next to me, before leaving the table and making my way out the building.
I found a bench in the middle of the gardens, surrounded in flowers. I took a shaky breathe but when I let it out, a sob escaped. I broke down.
I wanted to be happy for him but I couldn't, not when all I could think was...
That.
Should.
Be.
Me.
"Y/n?"
Shit.
I frantically dabbed under my eyes before turning to see Toms figure highlighted in the moon light.
"Yeah? What's up?" I forced a smile.
"Are you crying?! What's wrong?!" He frowned, coming to sit next to me.
"No! I just had something in my eye." I chuckled awkwardly.
"Both eyes?" He raised his eyebrows. "Seriously, what's wrong?" He placed his hand softly onto my hand, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.
No. I cant take this. I need to leave.
"I'm just not feeling well, I think I'm going to go back to the hotel but it's been lovely-" I got up to leave when he began to follow me.
"Woah wait, you're going to leave early on my wedding day?" He scoffed.
"Tom, I don't want to but I said I don't feel well."
"No, there's something else you're not telling me." He took no my hands in his, making me suck in a breathe. "I know you y/n, you're my best friend. Now tell me what's wrong because I saw you crying at the ceremony and it wasn't because you were happy so please-"
"NO!-" I unintentionally shouted, making him jump. "S-sorry I- I- need to go." I took my hands from his and ran, not looking back.
"Y/N, WAIT!"
Those were the last words I heard before I hopped in a taxi and began l sobbing heart out.
I don't really like this but I realised I'd never wrote angst before and probably should try it out! hope at least some people like it <3
